Thomas Markle Is Afraid He’ll Never See His Daughter Duchess Meghan Again

July 6, 2018 / Posted by:

Thomas Markle is worried he’ll never see his precious daughter Duchess Meghan again now that she’s been captured by that evil ogre Prince Harry and imprisoned high up in a castle tower. The Royal couple never did make it to Mexico to visit the old man, and now The Mirror reports that Thomas is “heartbroken” and fears that he and Meghan may not “ever be together again”. Cue: your tears. Go! Go! This is you, you’re on! You’re supposed to be blubbering right now. But I guess if you’re a cold, heartless cynic, you might take Thomas sob story with a grain of salt.

A “source” claims that Thomas fears a growing estrangement between him and Meghan.

A source said: “Thomas is heartbroken. He is at a complete loss as to why he has been excluded.” Thomas Markle fears daughter Meghan will never see him again – telling pals: “I haven’t talked with Meghan and Harry in a long time.”

It seems Thomas isn’t actually at a TOTAL loss because he added “ I think they’re shot of me now” which is a turn of phrase I’ve never personally heard before but when you’re calling The Mirror with a voice modulator and the batteries are running low, some words are bound to get lost in translation. Let’s just assume he meant “sick” . Because, yeah, everybody’s sick and tired of Thomas’ bullshit.

Mr Markle now fears Megan (sic) will never visit him in Mexico, saying: “I don’t know if she’ll visit. I told her not to come and visit when I was in hospital. I think that relationship is lost now.”

But fear not gentle reader (I’m talking to those of you who actually cried up there in the first paragraph. The rest of you, bear with me, we’re almost done), Thomas isn’t all alone. He’s recently reunited with the ever charming Thomas Jr. who traveled all the way from Grant’s Pass, Oregon to visit his dad at the Mexico/California border. The two had not seen each other for 4 years.

“He is not flush with money, but he wanted to meet up. It is strange though why Meghan has not been to see her father when he has been so ill.

You know what they say, the family that plots together, somehow manages to scrape up enough coins to fly coach on Spirit Airlines to get paid to be photographed together. Thomas Jr.’s sister Samantha Grant couldn’t make it though (she hasn’t seen her dad in several years either), because of her wheelchair but “nothing is stopping Meghan”. I mean she’s got a point, have you ever seen a person in a wheelchair at the airport?! Impossible. But it’s super easy for The Royals to fly. Meghan and Harry just need a couple of Dollar Store wigs, some hoodies, and they’re good to go. Spirit flies out of Buckingham Palace, right?

Pic: Wenn.com

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