BREAKING NEWS: Britney Spears Is Going To Eat Lots Of Small Burgers On Tour 

July 6, 2018 / Posted by:

Entertainment Tonight broke the biggest news story of the week after talking to Britney Spears about what she’s going to eat when she goes on tour. Brit Brit licked the Cheetos dust from her fingers before telling them all about the Piece of Me Tour which is going around North America and Europe this summer. And you know that means we need to hear all about Brit Brit’s eating and workout habits because what else would she talk about?

Brit said this:

“This round of shows that we are doing on tour, they are back to back, so each show is like… I don’t have time apart, besides flying… My show is a workout in itself. It really keeps you strong.”

Brit is infamous for getting me jealously hot and bothered by constantly posting Instagrams of her workouts. As a gay, I couldn’t care less about her exercises, but I definitely care about her muscular hunk of a boyfriend, Sam Asghari, who frequently appears in them. Get that Asghar-D, Britney! And when she’s hungry for something that’s not a gorgeous fitness model, Britney says she likes to hit up McDonald’s and get herself a burger. I know, I was shocked too. I thought it would be the Fiery Doritos Locos Tacos Supreme from TacoBell.

“Sometimes I’m just like, ‘I want a hamburger!’ but when I’m in work mode, I want [to eat] very clean. I want clean chicken and veggies that’s it. My stomach is so sensitive, if I have a steak, I will be sick for three days. The burger is fine, but I have the small burgers from McDonald’s. The happy meal!”

I can hear her squealing “The happy meal!” can’t you? Britney is doing 30 shows in 51 days and will be bringing her two boys, Sean Preston and Jayden James. She will not be bringing ex and baby daddy, Kevin Federline, who can’t afford the plane tickets or hotel. But don’t think it’s a vacation for those boys. Oh no, Britney is putting those kids to werk, bitch:

“They will come with me. They enjoy it… My kids, they have been putting new remixes into my show and stuff… there is one of the new songs on the radio, and [my son is] like, ‘Mom, that is so cool!’ … So I’m putting all these different new songs in my show, so they are coming along.”

Kevin just read that and started texting his kids furiously, who are listed in his phone as Meal Ticket 2 and Meal Ticket 3 (Britney is still Meal Ticket 1). He’s like: “Hey! Jayden-Preston! It’s me! Dad! Can you ask mom to play my new song on tour? Thanks kid! PS can you Venmo me $30?”


Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

alt="drupal analytics" >