I love a happy ending, don’t you? As Gold Diggers Hall Of Fame Presents: The Legend Of Prison Bae wraps up its first season, we can take time to reflect on fairy tale ending for The Felon, The Heiress and The Nurse. In last week’s episode, Jeremy Meeks and ex-wife Melissa Meeks finalized their divorce with Jeremy securing primary custody of the couple’s 9-year-old son Jeremy Jr. Melissa was offered a 6-figure payout for this arrangement and is now moving on with her life. In fact, she recently celebrated her freedom with a blow out divorce party held at Crazy Horse 3 in Las Vegas.
Perhaps you might think it’s sad that Jeremey Jr. gets shipped off to live in foreign country while his mom, according to Page Six, eats divorce cake and knocks back “‘Adios Motherfuker’ shots”. But fear not gentle reader, Jeremey Jr. is a winner too. He gets to go live MY childhood fantasy of a rich relation in England materializing out of the blue, allowing him to leave his boring mom and live out his Anglophile fantasies by attending a posh boarding school and probably getting a pony. That was supposed to be ME JEREMY JR! Instead, I had to remain living in a shitty apartment with my lame mom being forced to develop my English accent in a vacuum having only repeated viewings of My Fair Lady for reference. Trust me; shed no tears for Jeremy Jr.
As for his boring mom, Melissa has apparently given up nursing and is using her newfound notoriety as A Woman Wronged to leverage a book deal. According to Page Six:
While Melissa was certainly celebrating her newfound freedom as a single woman, she made sure to peddle upcoming projects she’s working on, including a memoir.
Though it was touch and go for a while, everybody prevailed. The Felon secured the bag. The Heiress, Chloe Green, sure showed her parents, and The Nurse appears to have increased her bust and her makeup budget. And lastly, The Little Prince gets a fucking pony. I for one, can’t wait until next season when it all comes crashing down with the introduction of The Secret Third Baby Mama.
And since Prison Bae’s Ex-Wife’s Strip Club Divorce Party is the spiritual embodiment of the Dlisted ethos, here’s a gallery of the event.