Afternoon Crumbs

July 2, 2018 / Posted by:

Thomas Markle is thinking about doing another paid interview to spill more shit about his daughter and the royal family. Oh, amateur ass Thom, that’s not how it’s done. You’re supposed to get access into the royal family and then get them all drunk on gin and the tears of peasants (their favorite cocktail) so they tell you all their secrets. And THEN you sell them out for a giant mountain of money. Fergie, come get Thomas and show him how it’s done – Celebitchy

Mr. Jesus Jugs is threatening to sue two of the Real Housemesses of Orange County for talking shit about his divorce. Now, I’m not saying that Jesus Jugs is in cahoots with the other Housewives so she can come back to the show and they’ll get more screen time because of this new storyline, but I am saying that Jesus Jugs is in cahoots with the other Housewives so she can come back to the show and they’ll get more screen time because of this new story line – Reality Tea

Ryan Murphy and I have something in common: Hollywood execs told him he was too faggy to succeed and I was voted 2 Faggy 2 Succeed – OMG Blog

Yawn, poke at me when Cathy Dennis and Stacey Q team up – Towleroad

Bella Thorne has another sister and this is what her nipples look like, in case you were wondering – (NSFW) Drunken Stepfather 

Not pictured: a dead fish floating on the water who’s looking at dead-eyed Emily RideAJetSki and thinking, “Bitch stole my look!” – Hollywood Tuna

Your fancy grandma’s kitchen shelf lining paper: Selena Gomez is wearing it as a crop top and skirt – Popoholic

Noted Twitter shit talker and star of one of my favorite shows right now, Rob Delaney, announced that his wife is pregnant five months after their toddler son died of cancer – Just Jared

Neve Campbell’s family is now just one away from being a party of five. I know, I’m so original with that jokeHuffPo

Pic: ITV

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