Kaley Cuoco went through with it and got married yesterday, according to People. Didn’t she do this only a couple of years back after only dating the dude for six months and it ended shortly afterward? What is it with this one and weddings? And she married another athlete from one of the less popular sports. The last guy was a tennis pro, right? This dude’s a jockey. She’s caught in some sort of psychological loop. Even her pranks are wedding-based. Why not just go to a bridal shop and try on dresses once a week? Those gals can be discrete. Divorce lawyers and laser tattoo removal procedures are expensive even when you’ve got that Big Bang Theory money.
Because her new husband Karl Cook rides horses for a living, they had “an intimate wedding at a horse stable near San Diego, California.” That’s a nice theme and everything but what about the odor? Stables? Not exactly an aromatherapy spa. They did it up all fancy and stuff but still, horses don’t use a toilet. And they aren’t always wearing that ass bag thing you see the tortured stallions sporting in parades or while lugging dumb tourists around Central Park.
Kaley told People in March that Karl is her perfect match because he helps her save rabbits.
“He is my perfect match,” Cuoco gushed to PEOPLE in March, adding that she hoped to make their pets part of their wedding. “He lets me wake up in the morning and say, ‘I want to go and rescue rabbits.’ And he’s like, ‘All right, let’s get a coffee and let’s go.’ And that is him. We are the same, our views are the same, our morals are the same, he is my perfect match.”
The ceremony was obviously both tear-jerking and hilarious. (I’m not talking about her outfits, I’m talking about the vows.)
Let’s get to the real meat of this story – those outfits. E! says that she got married in “a white lace gown with matching cape.” That cape. THAT CAPE.
She looks kinda culty, especially when she was standing at the altar. In fact, she looks like she got married at Spahn Ranch in that thing. But then you get into that “flirty jumpsuit” she changed into for the reception. It looks like Heidi Klum told the competing ProjRun designers that their challenge “eeze to create bridal outfit wif modern twist but crotch-focused. Also, budget to buy fabric at Mood eeze $26.75. Auf Wiedersehen!”