Hot Slut Of The Day!

July 1, 2018 / Posted by:

Abandoned House!

One of my favorite Hot Slut of the Days of all-time is 2008’s Abandoned Couch who became a hero in North Hollywood when it gallantly saved a human life after a car landed on it. Surprisingly, there was never an episode of Oprah: Where Are They Now? devoted to Abandoned Couch (OWN should be shut down for that shit alone!), so I don’t know what happened to it. I’d like to think that Abandoned Couch was declared a hero by the mayor, was reupholstered in the finest gold silk that taxpayer money could buy and is now sitting in a prime spot in Los Angeles City Hall where nobody is allowed to get near it. But if that’s not the case and poor Abandoned Couch is rotting away under bird caca in the dump somewhere, then it should find a way to get to Delaware where its soulmate, Abandoned House, is.

The Dover Police Department in Dover, DE posted on Facebook about how someone just left a house in the middle of the road on Tuesday. There was no one inside and they couldn’t track down the owner. Does Dorothy have an alibi?

But seriously, that is some horror movie shit. If I was in charge of the Dover PD, I’d bring in several priests to perform an exorcism on that house before covering it in holy water and torching it until it was nothing but a pile of ashes, which I’d put in a steel box full of bricks and throw into the sea. Then I’d light a field of sage on that spot in the middle of the road to cleanse the air of that dark-sidedness. But instead of doing that, the Dover PD moved it eventually.

Someone in the Facebook comments said that the house has a weak frame and so it wasn’t safe to drive it further down the road. So the owner left it there, but planned to come back and move it.

That house in the middle of the street has everyone yodeling out, “Our house in the miiiiidle of the street,” so I really hope this is some kind of stunt to announce that Madness will do a North American arena tour this year. Let that be the reason!

Pic: Dover Police Department

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