Spread your wings and preen, little peacock! Boing Boing has taught us so much with this YouTube video. Did you know a baby peacock is called a “peachick?” Did you know “peacock” can be used as a verb? Did you know there’s some sort of farm place in White Oaks, Georgia called Hairy Farmpit Girls? (They make bath products. That would be an unsettling brand name to be seen in your bathroom unless you live on a commune outside Northhampton, MA.)
Drew here is “peacocking”. It’s when a peachick busts out the Vegas showgirl headdress on his ass for their first time! Besides being a diva on the rise, Drew is also a rags-to-riches story. Actually, he’s a garbage-can-to-riches story. People suck.
“Drew was thrown in a garbage can out in Douglas, Georgia,” Jennifer Evitts, owner of Hairy Farmpit Girls… “Someone saw what happened, grabbed him and then reached out to us to see if we would take him as she didn’t know what to do with him.”
Ok, maybe I do want that brand name in my bathroom because the Hairy Farmpit Girls’ business also serves as an animal sanctuary. Congrats to Drew!
Does a John Mayer-issued mockery of Justin Bieber actually cancel itself out before it can even reach Bieber because they’re both douchey? Or is the burn more potent because when even fellow douches are shading you…? “Runaways at the train station”-looking couple Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin celebrated their recent engagement by posting a photo of themselves making out in a hot tub. John figured that the photographer of this pic would have had to actually BE in the hot tub with these two, and called the two of them out on it.
In addition to celebrity connections, and scandalizing shoulders, Duchess Meghan brought one more item of interest with her when she married Prince Harry back in May. She brought drama-spewing family members willing to sell her ass out for fame and riches! The Markle ne’er-do wells looking to cash in on Meghan’s star-crossed romance are numerous, and currently leading the charge has been Meghan’s dad, Thomas Markle.
It’s time to dose yourself in baby powder and shimmy into your black rubber pants, because Kat Von D has just dropped the goth spectacular wedding video that no one knew they asked for. Kat and Rafael Reyes (AKA Leafar Seyer because it’s beyond edgy to spell your name backwards) already chained themselves together for eternity back in February, but there wasn’t enough angst and darkness in their first wedding, so they decided to have a do over in June. Hold onto your crucifixes, because here come the wedding details and they’re just as you’d expect. Continue reading
Ever since we lost Anthony Bourdain, trolls have been taking it out on his girlfriend, actress Asia Argento, online. They’re claiming the reportedly devastated Asia had left Anthony for another man motivating him to commit suicide, as well as allegedly using him and the #MeToo movement to further her career. A group of celebrity ladies (along with celebrity dude Terry Crews who was allegedly on the receiving end of a #MeToo moment) released an open letter to the Los Angeles Times defending her, according to Deadline.
The trolls then took to the Times’ comments section to further troll on the open letter, saying that Bourdain’s suicide shouldn’t be conflated with the #MeToo movement. Is there a Raid-type spray to use on trolls to shoo them away? Do they still make spray deodorant? That might work.
Ellie is a big, beautiful mound of love and talent who’s got one working eye and is 13 years old. 13 years is apparently 68-ish in Beagle years. When I’m 68 years old, the only “treat” I’ll do a trick for is a 20-something Grindr hook-up who’s into grey pubes and has a grandpa fetish. But Ellie was gracious enough to flawlessly perform a new trick for a little food in the name of her human getting some YouTube views.
Ellie’s human Wes Hess doesn’t only have a hot rhyming name, but he’s also got an extremely talented pooch who learned a new trick for him. Wes put a treat in Ellie’s bowl, and taught her to sit up on her hind legs when he says, “ready, set,” and to run for that treat when he spits out “go.” But Wes decided it’d be real funny to mess with an elder pooch who doesn’t have much goddamn time left for his trickery, and said “row” and “low” instead of “go.” The look that Ellie throws at Wes when he says “row” and “low” is the same “don’t fuck with my emotions now” look I throw at a Popeye’s employee when they tell me they’re out of warmed up biscuits and it’s going to take 10 minutes. Being the very good and patient dog she is, Ellie waited until she heard “go” and went for it. Fuck World Cup, this is the only sport I care about!
And I’m sure that as a “thank you” for messing with her old ass and joints like that, Ellie gave her human a treat in the form of a dog caca in his shoe.