Yes, I am going use an old picture of Heather Locklear looking fresh and working every strand of that stunning layered yellow 90s mane rather than use another busted down mug shot of her looking every shade of dreadful.
In the past 12 months alone, these have been the Dlisted headlines about one of the Patron Saints of Primetime Soaps:
June 25, 2018 – Heather Locklear Got Arrested Again
March 13, 2018 – Heather Locklear Has Been Charged With Four Counts Of Battery
September 15, 2017 – Heather Locklear Ended Up In The Hospital After Driving Her Porsche Into A Ditch
Heather Locklear fans have been camped out in a prayer circle around her for a while. Well, you all better start getting your mail forwarded to that prayer circle, because the Tragic Saga Of Heather Locklear’s Violent Downward Spiral (which is the title of the eventual Lifetime movie, and Heather better play herself in an Emmy-winning triumphant return to the screen) isn’t over.
Kristian already brought us the messy story of how Heather was arrested at her home early Monday morning after drunkenly punching and kicking at a cop and EMT who were responding to a 911 call. Heather was apparently going crazy on her mom and dad. Heather was planning to go back to rehab for the second time in three months after getting bailed out of jail, but instead of doing that, she went back home and things got worse. TMZ says that someone at Heather’s house in Thousand Oaks, CA called 911 about a person who had possibly overdosed. EMTs and the Sheriff’s Department both showed up. Heather was taken to the hospital. Sources say she’s “stable” and is getting the treatment she needs.
The phrase “personal demons” is one that gives my brain the dry heaves almost more than “over the moon” does, but I’m going to use it here. Heather really needs to stop kicking, punching and slapping at her parents, EMTs, police officers, and her boyfriends, and instead beat down her those “personal demons.” Because the Sammy Jo I worship doesn’t cause a scene by beating people down and getting arrested, she causes a scene with her husband-stealing, jealous-causing, sweet, sweet moves:
It’s been one and a half years since I posted that iconic video, so I’m going to post it again, because I haven’t posted it nearly enough.