Hot Slut Of The Day!

June 24, 2018 / Posted by:

The Acrobat Raccoon of Michigan!

When I lived in NYC, I once drunkenly took two subways (waiting like 45 minutes each) and a rogue cab to get to a White Castle, where I had to wait for at least 20 minutes in a line that never seemed to end. I thought that was an incredible journey for some eats, but as it’s been proven time and time again, I ain’t got one shit on raccoons. One of our most recent HSOTD raccoons was, is and will forever be a legend who scaled a 25-story building in St. Paul, MN to get her mouth around some cat food. Okay, we don’t know for sure that’s why she SpiderMan’d up that building, but just shake your head and go with it for the sake of this post.

And now here’s a raccoon from Honor, Michigan (there ain’t nothing honorable about this magnificent bitch) who pulled some Tommy Cruise in Mission: Impossible stuntery to get some bird seed. (But game point still goes to Tommy because he does it just as well and does it in heels.) A man shot video of the frequent visitor to his family’s yard trying to get into the bird feeder. The raccoon climbed up to the cone protector thing, and after giving the camera a look like, “Keep the camera rolling, bitch, it’s about to get spectacular,” it swung over to the bird feeder and opened that thing with its hind paws before gracefully falling to the ground. My new favorite Cirque du Soleil show isn’t in Vegas, it’s in someone’s backyard in Honor, Michigan.

You should watch that again with the mute button pressed and Glitter In The Air (more like Bird Seed In The Air) blaring. If Pink was a raccoon…

Pic: YouTube

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