2018 is turning into the Year of the Pickle. History’s most famous pickle slut Snooki is back on TV, Sonic created something the Vlasic stork would shit out if he got butt boned by a snowman, and now KFC is taking up a corner on the pickle stroll by selling a pickle fried chicken sandwich for a limited time. “Pickle fried chicken sandwich” makes me think that KFC took a pickle, slathered it in their artery-clogging fried chicken batter, and threw it into a vat of heart attack-inducing syrup (read: oil) until it crisped up and looked exactly like my liver does after a holiday weekend. But in a press release, KFC says it’s just a fried chicken sandwich with some pickle sauce drizzled on it. (Prepare to be hit with a stupid phrase from the olden days) WEAK SAUCE is more like it.
“People are crazy about pickles, and pickle-flavored products are becoming today’s trendiest menu item,” said Andrea Zahumensky, KFC U.S. CMO. “Pickles and fried chicken are a match made in heaven, with tastemakers everywhere pairing these flavors. Our guests have been clamoring for more pickles – especially since we launched the Crispy Colonel Sandwich™ – so we’re giving them what they want by coating our Extra Crispy™ Chicken with a mouthwatering pickle sauce that delivers a craveable punch of pickle in every bite!”
And since this is KFC we’re talking about, that pickle sauce is probably GMO water infused with lab-made pickle flavoring. That sandwich is basically what you’d get if Phoebe Price and Snooki bumped ‘ginas. Okay, I think in dissing it, I just sold myself on it.