Night Crumbs
Since you can’t spell MoviePass without M-E-S-S, they’re continuing to be a slow-moving train wreck by announcing that they’re going to charge more for showings of bigger movies (read: Marvel shit) on busier days (read: weekends). MoviePass used to be like that magical fuck buddy who showed up when you called and left right after they busted but eventually wants more from you, like after-sex cuddling and dinner dates out in public. GROSS! But then again since the price of an IMAX movie is your first born and a finger, shit is still a bargain – Pajiba
Get out your umbrellas, because God is going to cry over Jesus Jugs and her king douche husband from Real Housewives of Orange County getting divorced – Reality Tea
Alexander Skarsgard was seen with a mystery blonde, and it’s unclear if they’re doing each other or not. I say that because if they were, she would obviously be wearing a t-shirt dress with the giant words “Yes, I’m Fucking ASkars! Smell My Finger, Bitches” on it – Lainey Gossip
You spend one afternoon chugging beers with your boyfriend at Dave & Buster’s and everyone says you’re pregnant – Celebitchy
The hell did Bella Hadid eat that produced a fart like that? – Drunken Stepfather
Someone named Anya Taylor-Joy served up Stepford Daughter Turned Member Of The Plastics preppiness – Popoholic
Maybe it’s because I’ve always got dick and jizz on the brain, but Emily RideAJetski’s ab line and belly button looks like a sperm swimming down to her crotch – Hollywood Tuna
Instagram got Selena Gomez and Justin Theroux’s maybe-rebound to make a community college film school horror movie – OMG Blog
Demi Lovato fell off the wagon and sang about it – Just Jared
Pic: MoviePass