Melania Trump Really Outdid Those Hurricane Heels 

June 21, 2018 / Posted by:

Ann Coulter, the hemorrhoid that a Ninth Circle rat chewed off of Lucifer’s asshole and barfed into a puddle of acid where it mutated into a shit-spewing demon, accused the detention camp children of being crisis actors. Well, Melania Trump heard what Ann Coulter said and decided to show a bitch what crisis acting really is when she showed up to the New Hope Children’s Center in McAllen, TX today and pretended to care about the 60 immigrant kids and teens from Central America who are being detained there. But before Melania acted like she cared, she told us that she really doesn’t by wearing a jacket that read “I Really Don’t Care. Do U?” as she boarded the plane headed to Texas. In Melania’s defense, she was probably forced to wear that because it’s the new official uniform of the Trump family.

The jacket that Melania wore is from a two-year-old Zara collection and cost $39. It’s the perfect jacket to wear if you’re an *~eDgY~* tween on the first day of 6th grade. It’s not the perfect jacket to wear if you’re the First Lady of the United States who is visiting the children she claims she cares about.

Melania didn’t have it on when she landed in Texas, and she also didn’t have it on when said to the children, “good luck,” before fluttering out in a cloud of diamond dust. Fake news again, right? That quote was totally cut off. The full quote is, “Good luck, children, and a word of advice, become lingerie model, marry ugly fat rich American, and BOOM: get green card!

After Melania got pissed on (“She didn’t tell me she was into that? I’m in love all over again!” – Trump) by everyone for her jacket of choice, her rep let out a statement saying there was no hidden message. She’s right. The message wasn’t hidden. It was right out in the open for all of us to take in.

You know, I’m sure Melania feels awful, is disgusted, and fired her stylist before torching that jacket. I mean, it’s from fucking Zara. She wore a cheap peasant rag from fucking Zara. The White House maids better fill Melania’s tub with pure bleach, because she’s going to need to immediately get clean. ZARA!

Pic: AP

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