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June 21, 2018 / Posted by:

Libby’s Fruit Float!

Today if you hear anyone screaming, “FRUIT FLOAT!!!”, you’d probably find me in She-Ra swim panties (please tell me these exist) lounging on a rainbow unicorn in the middle of a pool while shoulder dancing to an ABBA song. But way before I was even close to becoming my parents’ off-brand Band-Aid baby that failed to do its job, Fruit Float was a refreshingly weird dessert from Libby’s.

I’ve talked about Jell-O 1-2-3 on this site a lot, and have made it clear that I’d watch Gotti while as sober as a nun’s fetus (read: I’d be willing to go through inhumane acts of torture) for just one box of that deliciousness. Libby’s Fruit Float was apparently the original Jell-O 1-2-3. Fruit Float came in a can and was some kind of fruity gelatin syrup. It was probably made up of so many chemicals that it never digested, and is still living on the insides of the eater, where it’s slowly burning their internal organs. But it was apparently worth it.

To make that 70s frothy weirdness, you’d dump a can of Fruit Float nectar into a bowl, add some milk, and stir your way to fruity heavenly goodness. It supposedly separated into three sections like Jell-O 1-2-3.

Below is a 1973 commercial for Fruit Float, which also proves that most commercials in the 70s looked like scenes from a horror movie.

That brat and his little “say ‘Fruit Float’ three times” scheme… You know how when you chant the name Bloody Mary three times, she’ll appear? Well when you make your dad say “Fruit Float” three times and then steal his dessert, a bloody lip will appear on your face. Hey, it’s the 70s, you can say shit like that.

Pic: Pinterest

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