While Duchess Meghan barely escaped death via falling (that’s The Daily Mail talk for “she slipped a teeny tiny bit”) as she wore THE QUEEN’s old guest room bed sheets to the wedding of Princess Diana’s niece and one of the Weasleys yesterday, her dad Thomas Markle was refreshing his PayPal account to make sure that the “few thousand pounds” from Piers Morgan came through for his interview on Good Morning Britain today. Thomas Markle told TMZ last month that he regretted taking a check for staged paparazzi pics before the royal wedding, and today he really showed that he still regrets that decision and learned from it by getting paid to talk to the dried caca raisin clinging to humanity’s butt plug about Prince Hot Ginge and his daughter. So much for STFU-ing.…
Thomas Markle’s interview with GMB is long, uncomfortable, cringeworthy, awkward, and while watching it, I couldn’t wait for it to be over. That’s probably the same emotions that Piers’ wife goes through while fucking him.
Thomas didn’t get to walk his daughter down the aisle, because he had heart woes that required surgery. Thomas said that Duchess Meghan cried when he told her that he wasn’t going to walk her down the aisle and that she and PHG forgave him for the pap pics. Thomas also said that Meghan has wanted babies for a long time and he knows she and PHG will have at least one. DUH! Bitch didn’t have to tell me that. What’s the point of being married to PHG if you’re not going to bareback bone until a medical professional says, “Um, you all need to stop sexing, because the baby has to get out and this is just weird now.”
But the shit that really produced headlines was Thomas talking about PHG’s alleged political beliefs. Thomas has only talked to PHG on the phone, and claims they had words about Trump and Brexit. The first rule of living in 2018 is that it’s probably not a good idea to bring up Trump and Brexit with someone you barely know, especially someone who you are going to be related to. But apparently, PHG doesn’t care about that and according to Thomas, he outed himself as that annoying, shit-stirring relative at the Christmas dinner table who causes everyone to pick up their glass of wine and exit right away by saying, “You all, I think we need to give Trump a chance.”
Thomas said that he talked with PHG about politics a bit, and so Piers asked if they got into Trump.
Piers: What were his views on Donald Trump, for example?
Thomas: Our conversation was I was complaining I didn’t like Donald Trump, he said give Donald Trump a chance. I sort of disagreed with that, but that was his politics. I have my politics.
Piers: Do you think he’s a Trump supporter, Thomas?
Thomas: I would not now, but at the time, he might’ve been.
Thomas also said they had a “loose conversation” about Brexit, and that PHG isn’t against it and is “open to the experiment.” That’s not the kind of “experiment” I want PHG to be open to.
Here’s the clip of that conversation:
Well, this is one way to get permanently crossed off the list for the royal family Christmas party. Stupid ass Thomas will never get to take in the sight of THE QUEEN and Prince Phillip tonguing each other under the mistletoe after getting drunk on peppermint schnapps.
The royals are trained to stay pretty neutral and safe when it comes to politics, so I’m not sure I buy this. Besides, Lainey Gossip says that this interview was set up by that shady Samantha Markle. So that might explain why Thomas is having a hard time spitting out answers. In one ear he’s got Piers spitting out questions, and in the other ear he’s got Samantha Markle screaming at him, “Say Harry really is a Nazi and loves Trump! Say Harry loves Brexit! Say Harry is Roseanne Barr’s biggest fan! Say Harry secretly hates Corgis and gave Willow a poisoned piece of bacon!”