Open Post: Hosted By Marion Cotillard’s Biggest Competition 

June 18, 2018 / Posted by:

The greatest portrayal of a dramatic demise onscreen currently belongs to Oscar-winner Marion Cotillard who perfectly captured death in its rawest and realest form in the Dark Knight Rises. This proves that the Oscars are trash, because this is what should’ve earned Marion Cotillard a tiny gold man. THIS is acting!

Well, it was the epitome of acting until Marion got shown up by classically-trained Scottish actor Flash from Aberdeenshire, Scotland. Laughing Squid brought us a video of what Flash does every time his humans try to leave the house. Every time 6-year-old Flash the Beagle’s family gets ready to leave him, he uses the training he learned at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art in London to play dead and become as stiff as Brit Brit Spears doing her Las Vegas show (or as stiff as clits and peens when their owners look at a topless picture of Charlie Hunnam).

Scientists say that when a living thing first dies, their eyes usually move around and look at the camera if there’s a camera near them. (Yes, scientists say this, shut up!) Flash is obviously the kind of skilled ack-tor who does his research, because he does the eye moving thing during his performance. Not since Kristen Stewart in Twilight has an actor been so wooden and dead on camera.

The disturbing thing about that video is that Flash’s humans don’t immediately scream, cry, try to give him CPR, and call whatever the Scotland version of 911 is. I mean, Flash’s dead acting is that convincing. They just push his dead body out of the way. When Flash wins his Oscar for playing Marion Cotillard’s role in the reboot of the Dark Knight Rises in a couple of years, he should so not thank his humans.

Pic: YouTube

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