Bow Down, Beyoncé And Jay-Z’s Joint Album Shook The Internet Yesterday

June 17, 2018 / Posted by:

Were you awoken this morning by a chorus of screaming angels, your dwelling shuddering and threatening to splinter apart, and your pets speaking in tongues? Don’t panic. It’s not the end of the world, it’s the long-rumored Beyoncé and Jay-Z collaborative album dropping. Everything Is Love by The Carters (their married named) arrived last night, and you can hear it – naturally – on Jay-Z’s sort of stalled music streaming service Tidal. This is the record that was supposed to save that ego-fest back in ’15!

Because the Carters are benevolent deities, they’ve put up two new tracks online for the non-Tidal members out there. You can hear “SALUD!” (which doesn’t appear on the album) over at Pitchfork, and you can watch the video for the album track “APESHIT” below.

“APESHIT” is pure Bey and Jay, with the emperor and empress wearing various pieces of breathtaking couture and posing for their lives around the friggin’ Louvre, fer chrissakes. How come THEY get to take all the pics they want in the Louvre and us lessers get bounced for trying a selfie in front of a Rodin? (Ok, I climbed a velvet rope and I was drunk, but still!) Bey undulates her way through art history, while Jay spits bars shitting on the Grammys and the Superbowl according to Pitchfork.

Jay disses the Grammys on “APESHIT,” rapping, “Tell the Grammys fuck that 0 for 8 shit.” (Jay was the most nominated artist at the 2018 ceremony, but was completely shut out.) He also confirms the rumor that he turned down a Super Bowl Halftime Show offer: “I said no to the Super Bowl/You need me, I don’t need you/Every night we in the end zone/Tell the NFL we in stadiums too.”

The Carters are obviously in a years-long snit that no one cared about Tidal even though Yonce’ doth protest too much.

Beyoncé calls out Spotify on the track “NICE.” She raps, “If I gave…two fucks about streaming numbers woulda put Lemonade up on Spotify. Fuck you,” referencing the fact that her 2016 album has never been available on the streaming platform.

The Muse reminds us that the only two that matter have been working on this record for awhile, using it to deal with their “Becky with the good hair” probs.

Jay-Z alluded to a collaboration last November when he told the New York Times that he and Beyoncé were “using our art almost like a therapy session.”

The Carters worked with Migos, Pharrell, Ty Dolla $ign, Cool & Dre, Nav, and an up and coming young singer named Blue Ivy Carter on the record. Blue Ivy appears on the tracks “BOSS” and “SALUD!”, where you can hear her name-checking her twin siblings and probably threatening her parents not to eff with her about royalties. They learn quickly in the Carter family.

Pic: YouTube

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