Back in the day when everyone wondering “What Sex And The City character are you??” and when Brad Pitt was still doting on Jennifer Aniston, the only interesting thing that ever really happened at awards shows was when Joan Rivers (RIP) was allowed to tell actresses what she really thought of their stupid black dress and when Angelina Jolie arrived with a vial of Billy Bob Thornton’s Arkansas alligator blood around her neck. Billy Bob’s now talking about their short-lived marriage, saying the weird shit you heard about was blown out of proportion.
Page Six says Billy Bob was on the HFPA podcast this week and wanted to set a few things straight about his time with Angie – perfectly timed for her ongoing custody battle! Billy Bob, who once blew the wig off a reporter on a red carpet after announcing that he and Angelina had sex in the limo en route to the event, said he and Angie were just a couple of normal, boring married stiffs. Oh, Billy Bob, you lie! Normal married people don’t have sex! You really can’t think of Billy Bob and Angie without conjuring up images of vampires thanks to the necklaces they had of each other’s blood, but he says even that was blown out of proportion:
“The necklaces were a very simple thing, ‘Hey, let’s poke our fingers with a pen and smear a little blood on there and when we’re away from each other, we’ll wear the necklace.’It was that easy. But by the time it came out in the press, it sounded like we were wearing a bucket of blood around our necks.”
Because we live in the Team Angie or Team Jen world, I always forget Angie struck once before! Billy Bob was engaged to Laura Dern when he and Angie met, which really just means she needs to show up in season 3 of Big Little Lies. Anywho, Billy Bob says he never felt good enough for Angelina and the two lived different lives:
“We just had different lifestyles. Hers is a global lifestyle and mine is an agoraphobic lifestyle.So that’s really, that’s the only reason we’re probably not still together, maybe. There was a different path in life we wanted to take.”
Sigh. If Angie’s interests weren’t in child armies, and Billy Bob’s weren’t in Emily Dickinson cosplay, just think of what could have been!