Back in March, Tiffany Haddish told a story about being at a party, where she watched a drugged-up actress hit on Jay-Z and then try to bite her lord and savior Beyoncé in the face. It didn’t take the internet long to guess it was Sanaa Lathan, who denied she was the biter by calling the rumor “absurd.” Tiffany claimed she couldn’t spill the beans because she was bound by an NDA. The NDA clearly only specified disclosure by way of talking, and not facial gestures. Tiffany has pulled the curtain back, and Beyoncé’s alleged face-biter is none other than who you all thought it was.
Tiffany recently spoke to Lacey Rose of The Hollywood Reporter during a cross-country flight, and they got into just about everything. Her career, her personal life. But the best conversations are wen Tiffany talks about other famous people. So Lacey started throwing out names to see if Tiffany had any stories. Lacey asks Tiffany about her crush Leonardo DiCaprio. Tiffany says she met him at a party a couple months ago, and she pounced on him. Tiffany also accidentally gave us a perfect new name for The Pussy Posse.
“I asked him if he’d let me hit that. He’s like, ‘Tiffany, you’re so funny.’ I’m like, ‘I’m serious.’ And then he goes, ‘I mean, I’d do it, but…’ I was like, ‘Come on, wasn’t you in a squad? The coochie squad or something?’ I told him, ‘My only stipulation: I wanna do it with you as your character in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape.’ He starts bustin’ up laughin’. ‘Why?’ he asks, and I say, ‘Cause I feel like that performance deserves a real reward and that reward is this (gestures at her own body).’ He starts goin’ into how he got into the role, how he worked with these kids and all this stuff, and I’m just listenin’ and listenin’, like, ‘Mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm.’ I finally go, ‘All that’s good, I just need to know, When’s this gonna happen?'”
This is Leonardo DiCaprio we’re talking about, and Tiffany is 38. So to answer her question, she should pencil him in for sometime in the year 2002, on the condition that time travel has been invented.
Tiffany then talked about Roseanne Barr. Tiffany says she was visiting a friend named Anna in El Segundo, CA back in 2000 or 2001. Her friend’s neighbor was Roseanne. Tiffany says she was a fan of Roseanne, so she waved when she saw Roseanne one day. Tiffany isn’t exactly shocked at what’s been happening with Roseanne, because she’s always been that person to Tiffany.
“I say, ‘Hiiii, Roseanne.’ She looks at me (makes a disgusted face), and ran in the house. I thought, ‘Maybe she don’t want to be bothered today.’ A week later, we walk by again, and I told Anna – she’s Hispanic, but she looks white – she should say hi this time. So she says, ‘Hi, Roseanne,’ and Roseanne goes, ‘Hey!’ I thought, ‘Maybe she got to know us.’ Then I go back, like, a week later, I wave again and say, ‘Hi, Roseanne! I love your comedy,’ and she (makes the same disgusted face) and turns her head. I think, ‘Fuck that bitch.’…She been racist, why’d you all give her a TV show?”
And finally, they got to the main event, Tiffany’s Beyoncé-biting story. Maybe it was the thin air or the on-board booze, but Lacey didn’t have to try very hard to get the answer out of Tiffany. Tiffany first asks Lacey who she thinks did the biting, to which she answers Sanaa Lathan. Tiffany then said everything that needed to be said by smiling. If that’s not proof enough for you, Tiffany then revealed that Sanaa’s parents were pissed that Tiffany blabbed about their biting child.
“I’m super good friends with her stepmom and her dad [Stan, a producer-director], and they were mad at me. They were like, ‘Why would you do this to the family? You know, black actresses, you guys have to stick together, it’s so hard for you guys to get work as it is, why would you try to ruin her career?’ But I didn’t try to ruin her career. I never said her name! I was just trying to say how Beyoncé kept me from goin’ to jail that night. I coulda just shut my whole career down.”
When asked if her Beyoncé story has caused people to stop inviting her to stuff, Tiffany says the opposite has happened. According to Tiffany, people now invite her to things, hoping that she’ll talk about it later, and make that party seem like it was cool. Do I smell a side-business in Tiffany’s not-so-distant future? Some celebrities get paid for going to parties, but Tiffany could get paid for talking about them after. A story about someone getting bit or hit is $10,000 extra.