Dennis Rodman is in Singapore right now in his capacity as the self-created Goodwill Ambassador of the Trump-Kim The Dear Leader Summit 2018. As such, CNN’s Chris Cuomo interviewed Dennis, live on air, to get his take on the “historic event” and discuss his role in bringing the two leaders together. Nobody invited Dennis. But he just loves North Korea so much that he got himself a sponsor and is on a mission to Make America Great Again by hooking up his two BFFs, Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un. And sadly no, his sponsor isn’t he kind you should get when you’ve had more DUIs than you’ve had career rebounds on the basketball court. His sponsor is Potcoin, a cryptocurrency for weed professionals.
The last time Dennis was interviewed by Chris, things didn’t go so well. This was back in 2014 when Dennis was in North Korea with some of his basketball buds. In that interview Dennis was incoherent, antagonistic, defensive, and high as fuck (which he later admitted to). But I guess Dennis is doing much better these days? 2 out of 4 ain’t bad (I’ll let you decide which 2). I mean there were a few tears, a couple of awkward shout-outs (Potcoin played this sponsorship very well indeed) and a whole lot of deflection.
Here’s the interview. It’s long, but then again, what else are you gonna do while the world burns this summer. Watch The Walking Dead? This is just as fantastical.
Here’s a couple of moments I “enjoyed” most:
4:49 – “Obama Wouldn’t give me the time of day“.
5:14 – Dennis gets excited, so excited he repeated evades the simple question “does Kim speak English?“. The look on Chris’ face is priceless. This is where the waterworks really start to flow in earnest.
At the 8:00 mark, Chris asks again if Kim speaks English since Dennis keeps talking about the great conversations they’ve had. Here Dennis offers a characterization of Kim as a harmless boy who loves America and taking selfies.
“He was taking selfies and all that,” said Rodman of his various meetings with Kim. “This guy wants to be around the world, he wants to go to America.”
Somebody get this kid a baseball hat (a red MAGA one, natch) and a hamburger! That’s all he needs. That’ll surely curtail his desire to perpetrate atrocious human rights violations against his own people.
Finally, my favorite part comes in at around 12:50. Dennis asks Chris if he can “thank some people”, Chris knows what’s about to go down but is powerless to stop it. POTCOIN IN THA HOUSE!
It’s all so perfect given our official state doctrine is now “We’re America, Bitch!“. Yes bitches, we are. We are America.