We’ve got a little problem as a country (nay, world) because the President of The United States is an ego driven narcissist prone to fits of rage. Maybe that’s part of the reason it’s so easy for Alec Baldwin to channel him on Saturday Night Live. It’s not method acting if you’re just playing a marginally less attractive (ok, I will give Alec his due; significantly less attractive), conservative version of yourself. Just as we don’t enjoy having Donald Trump as president, neither would we enjoy having Alec Baldwin as president. But this fool thinks it would be cute. Alec appeared on The Howard Stern Show and boasted that if he ran for president against Donny in 2020, he would totally win.
Here’s Alec on Stern.
STFU Alec! Not one person in America is in the mood for jokes about the next election being “the funniest, most exciting, most crazy” campaign. The 2020 presidential campaign needs to be the driest, most boring, and sanest campaign since Cleveland/Blaine 1884. Otherwise, we’re all going to literally go insane. If Alec allows his ego to get him anywhere near a primary, minds are going to start cracking. We’ll be throwing mad hatter tea parties in the middle of the freeway and carving campaign buttons directly into our chests with dull butter knives.
Joke or no joke, Alec is hurting my feelings. He went on to say in all earnestness that yeah, “I’d love to run for that kind of position” which makes me want to stuff a sock full of feces down his throat. We have been through enough, Alec. No more dilettantes, no more game show hosts, no more sycophantic bros with short fuses. And, if a girl can dream: No more white dude baby boomers.
I remember back in 2003 when there was a special election to recall sitting California Governor Grey Davis. History buffs may remember that that election marked the start of Arnold Schwarzenegger‘s political career. That whole entire recall election was a circus. I remember walking into the voting booth and taking a picture of my ballot because it was bonkers. On it was:
The Terminator Himself
Diminutive child actor Gary Coleman
Porn star Mary Carey
Two non-famous “legitimate candidates”
Dear reader, I think you know already who won that election.
Ah, but those were simpler times. It makes me laugh now, but at the time if was shocking and unsettling. Back then it was like, well, what’s the worst that could happen? And now that we know the answer, I’m going to need Alec Baldwin (and his ilk) to have a seat. Preferably in something with straps.