Yesterday, I wrote about the disturbing and ugly news that the early-morning paradise for drunks that is IHOP is changing their name to IHOb, which sounds like a bowel condition that gives you the runs (fitting). IHOb isn’t announcing what the “b” stands for until Monday, but I hoped it was just a shameless stunt to promote some new b-named breakfast food and that IHOP wouldn’t turn their backs on pancakes. But now some people who claim they work for IHOP are spilling it. They say the “b” doesn’t stand for “breakfast,” it stands for “burgers.” I just… Trump became president, and now IHOP is ALLEGEDLY shitting on their
bread pancakes and butter and getting themselves a new whore and using cheap tactics to sell it? What happened to America?! Actually, that is very American.
Mashable got into a Reddit thread where IHOP employees were asked to step forward and burp up what they knew about IHOb. One Redditor, who is supposedly an IHOP manager, gave it up. IHOP currently has burgers on the menu, but the Redditor says they’re revamping them completely. Because that Redditor figured that they might get in trouble for blowing the bun off of IHOb’s burger unveiling, they deleted their comment. But there’s a reason why Shift-Command-4 exists:
Another IHOP employee co-signed the burger shit on Twitter, but said they think the name change is just a stunt, because the IHOP they work at said nothing about that.
IHOP does most of their business during breakfast (DUH), so this is their way of trying to get a chunk of the lunch game. IHOP is most likely not changing their name and this is a stunt to get people to pay attention to their new burgers, but why bother? Going to IHOP for burgers is like going to Grindr when you’re looking for a top (they’re all bottoms on there). My favorite after-bar IHOP is right across the street from an In-N-Out. So why would I turn my back on In-N-Out to have a burger that I can shove between two pancakes and slather with butter and syrup to create a disgustingly delicious drunk dish …. And I need to stop before I’m tempted to cheat on In-N-Out.