Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan failed while promoting Fifty Shades of Grey, because he didn’t leave his wife so that he could have a staged romance with her for the sake of selling tickets. Those two were so cold with each other you would have figured they were the ones in the vampire movie. It’s been a while since America lost its collective shit over a totally believable romance, and apparently, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart stealthily went to Chateau Marmont to let us reflect on (sing it, Babs!) the way we were.
Us Weekly says RPattz and KStew were seen on Saturday “trying to keep a low profile” outside Chateau Marmont. I guess the other favorite celebrity spot to keep a low profile, the Ivy, had a waitlist. Both – pictured above in happier (?) times in 2013 – were there for Lily Rose-Depp’s 19th birthday party, which honestly sounds like hell. Kristen is 28, and Rob is 32. Don’t they know people mature in dog years over the span of their twenties? What the hell do they talk about with Lily…last night’s episode of Siesta Key? That actually sounds like how I spend most my borderline thirtysomething nights with friends, so carry on.
The Daily Mail has photos of them and asked the expected, “Back on?” But they were never really seen THAT close together:
Twilight fans, this is major: https://t.co/gEG9cgBuIS
— ELLE Magazine (US) (@ELLEmagazine) June 6, 2018
RPattz is still after breaking up with FKA Twigs last year, but KStewis supposedly still with Stella Maxwell, so this is definitely nothing.
But I was glad to see that Kristen manages to still scowl as much in 2018 in the vicinity of Rob as she did back in 2010. The Twi-hard army is still one tough beast, as TwiTwitter (just go with it) freaked the fuck out at the possibility of those two back on. Now, there are some miiiiiiinor logistical challenges here. When Kristen was on Saturday Night Live in 2017, she took Donald Trump to task for tweeting about how she and Rob broke up following her getting caught canoodling her Snow White director Rupert Sanders in 2012. She labeled herself as “so gay” during the SNL stint, which is coincidentally what I plan on being this weekend at Pride. Kristen has since said she’s open to dabbling in the peen pool again, which, coincidentally, is also what I plan on doing this weekend at Pride.