Johnny Depp must have seen those pictures of Jet Li looking 12 kinds of feeble, turned to Alice Cooper and said, “hold my beer”. And Alice said, “Johnny, mate, you’re not holding a beer. That’s a lit cigarette and we’re in the middle of a set, what the fuck are you talking about?”. Johnny’s on tour with Hollywood Vampires, a spooky band of undead rockers that, in its current iteration, includes Johnny, Alice Cooper, Joe Perry and a couple of other middle-aged dudes I don’t recognize who appear to share the same tin of black shoe polish to dye their hair with. So far they’ve played Russia and Germany. Johnny’s hasn’t shied away from taking plenty of photos with fans but folks, he’s not looking so hot.
Here’s Johnny looking thin, wan and sporting a hat that’s perhaps a little too on the nose.
— Richie (@Richie_FUUU) June 4, 2018
— Because It's Johnny Depp (@MyGrindelwald) June 4, 2018
Johnny’s appearance has got many people concerned about his health. As we know, Johnny’s had a rough go of things lately what with his money trouble, legal trouble and increasingly bad reputation for being difficult on set. From the looks of him, one might also conclude that Johnny’s been negligent when it comes to hydrating with water and eating solid foods.
Some fans are showing support with hastags like #WeGotYourBackJD and #ProudOfJohnnyDepp. I’m starting a Twitter campaign called #ASandwichForJohnny.
You know you’re into some bad shit when you get your picture taken standing next to Alice Cooper and and you’re the one getting called ghoulish looking.
His fair weather fans think he’s in trouble.
It’s not Johnny depp’s weight that concerns me. He’s always been skinny. It’s his freakin FACE. WHATS HAPPENING TO HIS FACE.
— samantha?♀️rose (@sunrosedivine) June 4, 2018
His die-hard stans think he’s just tired.
People, I don't get it! Isn't it normal to look tired on airports after spending many evenings with playing concerts, meeting many fans and flying forth and back for days? He isn't 30 anymore! He has the damn right being tired and look like this after a long flight! #JohnnyDepp
— Andrelope6695 (@Andrelope6695) June 2, 2018
Honestly, he doesn’t look that much worse to me than he has in recent years. Some pictures are worse than others, but Johnny’s had the same clammy parlor and cartoon stink lines wafting off him for quite some time now. What really made me clutch my pearls though was watching video of Johnny “singing” a cover of David Bowie’s “Heroes“.
That has got to be one of the laziest performances I’ve ever witnessed. And Johnny looks all kinds of fucked up. If he’s trying to channel the Thin White Duke, he’s got his wires crossed. He’s channeling the Skinny Ashen I’m About To Puke instead. Or maybe the entire Hollywood Vampire gang has taken their mission literally and are all living off of bats blood and snorted human remains for the duration of the tour. Either way, it’s a bit early for going full Halloween.