Blame It On The Ambien: The Roseanne Barr Edition

May 30, 2018 / Posted by:

Sanofi-Aventis, the makers of Ambien, really need to update the side effects lingo in all their ads and commercials to read: Side effects may include next-day drowsiness, dizziness, headache, sleep walking, eating or driving while not fully awake, memory loss, confusion, hallucinations, and making racist tweets about former presidential advisers.

After colossal Twitter mess Roseanne Barr twatted up an apology for calling former Obama adviser Valerie Jarrett the baby of the “muslim brotherhood” and “planet of the apes,” she declared that she was leaving Twitter. But as anyone who has followed Roseanne knows, when she says that she’s leaving Twitter, what she really means is that she’s not leaving Twitter and just needs to recharge so she’ll be fully powered to spit out more foolery. Roseanne was back on Twitter a quick second after quitting, and went after the co-stars of her now-dead show for throwing her under the bus, said that she thought Valerie Jarrett is “saudi” and “Jewish,” and said she was on Ambien at the time of her racist tweet. QUICK, Lunesta Moth, now is your time to shine, flutter around and let everyone know that Lunesta doesn’t make people racist.

In between re-tweeting tweets of defense from her followers, conspiracy theories and facepalm-inducing memes about how comparing Trump to an orangutan is the same as comparing a black person to an ape, Roseanne sharted up a series of now-deleted tweets saying she was Ambien-tweeting and she’s sorry to everyone who lost their jobs because of her tweet.

Don’t feel sorry for me, guys!!-I just want to apologize to the hundreds of people,and wonderful writers (all liberal) and talented actors who lost their jobs on my show due to my stupid tweet. I will be on Joe Rogan’s podcast friday.

guys I did something unforgiveable so do not defend me. It was 2 in the morning and I was ambien tweeting-it was memorial day too-i went 2 far & do not want it defended-it was egregious Indefensible. I made a mistake I wish I hadn’t but…don’t defend it please. ty

I’m sorry 4 my tweet, AND I will also defend myself as well as talk to my followers. so, go away if u don’t like it. I will handle my sadness the way I want to. I’m tired of being attacked & belittled more than other comedians who have said worse.

Please don’t start all of that boycott abc stuff-I’m not a censor and they have the right to do what they wish. It’ all ok. thanks tho guys!

I think Joe Rogan is right about ambien. Not giving excuses for what I did(tweeted) but I’ve done weird stuff while on ambien-cracked eggs on the wall at 2am etc –

Even though Roseanne told her fans not to defend her ass, she continued to re-tweet their tweets of defense. She also had something to say to the people she used to work with, like Sara Gilbert:

And DJ Conner:

And Roseanne told a defender that high jorse rider Wanda Sykes, who was a producer on the Roseanne revival, made ABC nervous by tweeting that she quit the show.

As for not knowing that Valerie Jarrett is black, Roseanne told a follower, who really wants to see Valerie’s 23andMe results (asking for 23andMe results is the new asking for a birth certificate), that she thought Valerie was white.

Roseanne has kept at it this morning, and the woman who compared a black woman to an ape called someone a “bully” after he laughed at her for blaming her racist fuckery on Ambien.

A 280-character tear also trickled down Roseanne’s cheek while thinking about what the always-innocent Trump has to go through.

Speaking of Trump, he once again proved that his one big talent is making everything about him.

And finally, the makers of Ambien responded to Roseanne saying she was on their stuff when she made the tweet that cost her a show and an agent. After tweeting this tweet, the PR department at Sanofi probably took a bow, grabbed their pocketbooks, and headed to the parking lot, because their job was done for the day.

When an evil, greedy, moral-less pharmaceutical company checks your ass for being a mess and many people agree, you know you fucked up in a big way.

In 2013, Roseanne tweeted that another black Obama adviser, Susan Rice, was a “man with big swinging ape balls.” So Ambien is some real shit. Not only will taking it once cause you to do some gross, unforgivable acts like binge-watch Kourtney and Khloe Take The Hamptons (which is what it did to me and why I don’t mess with it anymore) and tweet racist crap, but it will also cause you to time-travel to 2013 and make racist tweets.

And I’m waiting for ABC, who called Roseanne’s tweet “abhorrent,” to say that their chairman Ben Sherwood was in an Ambien haze when he made jokes about her past “controversial” tweets at Upfronts two weeks ago:

Pic: Wenn.com

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