Kevin Federline Filed For Additional Child Support Claiming He Only Earns 1% Of What Britney Spears Earns

May 23, 2018 / Posted by:

Kevin Federline still needs more money for child support. According to The Blast, he’s officially filed documents requesting an increase to make up for the fact that in recent years, he only earns 1% of what Britney Spears earns and it’s not fair for the kids to have to live in a hovel when they’re with him, and a mansion when they’re with their momma. And the kids are suffering because of it. What, you never heard of Childhood Parental Wealth Disparity Syndrome (CPWDS)? It’s a silent killer.

Kevin estimates Brit’s income (he has to guess because Brit won’t tell him) to be roughly $34,000,000 per year while he earns a paltry $3,000 per month (not including Brit’s $20,000 monthly contribution). Kevin says he’s not where he was financially in 2008, when the child support payments were last adjusted. And now Kevin’s too old to dance. Instead he roams the country in a beat up jalopy making ends meet as a DJ. Additionally, Kevin claims that he is “simply less of a ‘name’ and less in demand” and therefore, has been unsuccessful putting out new music.

Kevin provided the court with the following comparison to illustrate the dangers of CPWDS.

Petitioner is a single woman who lives alone in a 13,264 square foot Neoclassical Italianite villa on 21 acres of land in a gated community with an elevator, a library, a media/game room, 3,500 bottle wine cellar, an additional 1,200 square foot pool house, an orchard, resort-sized pool and spa, lighted tennis court and three-green golf course. In contrast, Respondent lives with his wife, his two minor children from his current marriage, the two minor children he shares with Petitioner and two minor children from a previous relationship in a 2,000 square foot home.

Neoclassical! This is a very important detail. Children exposed to “ranch style” dwellings like Kevin’s (I presume) are 12 times more likely to suffer from hay fever and rickets. Additionally:

Petitioner has private chefs, tutors, caretakers, security and countless household staff available to the parties’ minor children. The children have numerous “toys” including ATV’s, every video game system imaginable, i-Pads, laptops, and the best and abundance of clothing, technology and consumer goods. The children vacation multiple times a year with Petitioner…

You want to know what the kids have at Kevin’s house to play with? Bottle caps and second-hand coloring books. And where do they vacation? Not “the finest 5-star resorts” in places like Hawaii. They (presumably) go visit one of Kevin’s other kids’ grandparents in Phoenix and stay in a musty basement room with spiders. The numbers of CPWDS related spider bites kill more children than per year than urban bear attacks.

Kevin also contends that the children are not able to have “15 friends over to (his)  house for a sleepover due to a lack of space”. Sleepovers with fewer than 15 friends usually result in IBS and shingles. Kevin argues that the only cure for the heinous plague of CPWDS is for Brit to offer an “upward modification of child support” so he can “secure housing and services” that will “meet the needs” of the children. To which I hope Britney responds with:

Pic: Wenn.com

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