Duchess Meghan and Prince Hot Ginge got married three days ago, and so they should be fucking their sand-covered genitals off in a Sandals Resort room as THE QUEEN examines their mating skills with a magnifying glass to make sure the banger is going in the mash all the way. (Again, they still do that tradition, right?) But it’s hard out there for a British royal, because they had to go back to work today.
Prince Charles isn’t turning 70 until November 14, but because those royals are over-the-top spotlight fuckers who have to milk every last drop of attention out of every situation, he started celebrating today. Since it’s a milestone birthday, there will be several celebrations for Chuck’s birthday until November. Prince Charles is that friend who squeals, “It’s my birthday week!”, before pulling out a candle and putting it on her Belgian waffle at what was supposed to be just a regular fucking brunch.
Today’s celebration was a garden party at Buckingham Palace, and it was to honor Chuck’s work with charities and military affiliations. But it wasn’t only about him. It was about Duchess Meghan, Prince Hot Ginge, and more importantly her dress!
While busting out some Stepford Wife poses, Duchess Meghan wore a hat by Philip Treacy and a dress they tell me is by GOAT, but I think everyone is wrong. That bland dress is obviously from Angelina Jolie’s line for Kohl’s. And while Duchess Camilla’s leg skin got to breathe in the fresh air (at least I don’t think she’s wearing hose…), Duchess Meghan’s leg skin suffocated from the L’Eggs cocoon they were wrapped in. Welcome to being part of the royals, Meghan’s leg skin. You’ll never touch outside air again! Poor Meghan’s leg skin is probably looking through that nylon jail and solemnly singing, “I Will Always Love You,” to the fresh breezes that will never touch it again.