Night Crumbs

Gay porn star Rafael Alencar was asked which famous people he’s fucked and he’d only say the dead ones because they can’t sue him and he only used “disguised” names. Mommy Hilfinger, Malvin Klein and Matrick Swayze have all gotten a piece of Rafael, according to Rafael. I’m totally stealing that. Nobody has ever asked me if I’ve ever done anyone famous (because, duh, they know the answer to that), but if they do, I’m going to pull a Rafael Alencar and only say the dead ones since they’re not alive to tell everyone I’m lying out of my lying ass. You know, I’ll say Mames Dean, Mary Grant, Maul Newman, Malmolm M, Mesus, etc… etc..

And who’s going to tell Rafael that Mommy Hilfinger and Malvin Klein aren’t dead? I guess they will if they sue him – Towleroad

Leonardo DiCatchAHo’s newest girlfriend is thinking to herself, “If this motherfucker wasn’t Leonardo DiCatchAHo, I would’ve bailed as soon as I saw those rolled-up-to-capri-length jeans” – Lainey Gossip

FYI, Kate Winslet is now your grandmother – Celebitchy

Kaitlin Cooper #2 is all grown up and delivering loads of truck stop stripper glamour – Drunken Stepfather

One of the hangers-on of the Real Housewives of Atlanta who isn’t Marlo, Kim Zolciak, Mama Joyce (oooh, I’m going to get a slipper to the face for that one), or Porsha’s sister is pregnant – Reality Tea

Winona Ryder’s “acting” + Keanu Reeves “acting” + a rom-com script that should’ve died in 1991 = an awkward mess of a movie I can’t wait to see – Pajiba

If you’re trying to find a way to take an ugly librarian dress from homely to tingle-inducer, there’s an easy way to do that: be Christina Hendricks – Popoholic

Lea Michele doesn’t want to get pregnant just yet because she’s not about to let a baby fuck with her chances of playing youngins’ – Just Jared

And now let’s end this Hump Day with some perfect Hump Day fappin’ material – Boy Culture

Pic: YouTube