Meghan Markle’s Father Isn’t Going To The Wedding Anymore Because He Doesn’t Want To Embarrass The Royals
THE QUEEN just summoned Prince George to her throne room and ordered one of her ladies-in-waiting to pop them some popcorn, because they’re going to sit back and get into this soap opera drama that doesn’t involve their own family for once.
Last week, the British tabloids published pics of Meghan Markle’s dad, Thomas Markle, running all sorts of pre-royal wedding errands in Rosarito, Mexico, where he lives. Thomas was papped looking at tourist books about Britain and reading up on his future son-in-law at an internet cafe. The pics couldn’t have been more staged if he was fake crying on a random chair in the middle of the sidewalk over the shitty reviews about his music video. It was obvious to anyone with a tiny dollop of sense that Thomas posed for the pics, but The Daily Mail just had to call him out (after publishing those pics themselves), and they posted surveillance footage from the internet cafe of him setting the shots up with a pap. And now Thomas Markle is telling TMZ that he’s not going to walk Meghan down the aisle because he’s not going to the wedding. And he says he just had a heart attack! Any second now, I’m sure Meghan’s estranged half-brother Thomas Markle Jr. will hit up the tabloids to see if they want to buy another open letter where he begs the royal family to charge her with attempted murder since she’s obviously the cause of all this messiness.
In their exposé on Thomas Markle partaking in a staged photo-op, The Daily Mail claimed that the pics brought in £100,000 and he was paid thousands of dollars. They also said that the “tailor” who measured Thomas for a suit was actually a party store employee who was paid to pretend since the suit store was closed.
Thomas’ other daughter, Samantha Markle, who has also shit on Meghan repeatedly, was on ITV1’s Loose Women this morning and took all the blame. Samantha said that her dad has been getting body ready for the royal wedding, and that the tabloids have only been posting busted pics of him. So she suggested he set up pap pics of him working out and getting ready. She doesn’t think he was paid, but if he was, it was a handful of not much.
After that interview, Thomas Markle talked to TMZ and co-signed what Samantha said, which is that he was sick of the tabloids publishing pap pics of him looking a mess. So when a pap agency offered him money to do some staged pics, he took the deal. Ever since Meghan has been humping on Prince Hot Ginge, he’s been offered up to $100,000 for interviews, but he’s turned them all down. He regrets posing for the pics and thinks they’re stupid. He also says he wasn’t paid anywhere near $100,000 for them.
On top of all that, Thomas says he had a heart attack only 6 days ago, but checked out of the hospital so he could go to his daughter’s wedding. But Meghan will have to find someone else to walk her down the aisle, because he doesn’t want to embarrass the royal family so he’s not going.
On a scale between Not Embarrassing and Don’t Show Your Face Ever Outside Embarrassing, Thomas Markle’s staged photo-op doesn’t even register. Especially if you consider that throughout the years, members of the royal family have been accused of being friends with Hitler, dressed up like a Nazi at a costume party, wished they could be a tampon, gotten caught in a $750,000 bribing ESCANDALO, and have worn this out in public.
So if Thomas Markle showed up to the wedding in a tampon costume, with a toilet on his head and a Nazi jacket on, those royals couldn’t say shit.