Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 14, 2018 / Posted by:

The cupcake snatching bear of New Jersey!

The cupcake snatching bear of New Jersey is not to be confused with the cupcake (read: boy butt) snatching bear (read: John Travolta) of the Scientology Celebrity Centre. Christine Allen, who owns Mo’Pweeze Bakery in Denville, NJ, says that she left cupcakes in her SUV last Wednesday. Since cupcakes are priceless jewels and more valuable than diamonds, that wasn’t really a good move on Christine’s part, and it’s no surprise that a thieving thief sniffed ’em out and stole them.

Christine tells NorthNewJersey.com that on Thursday, she found her SUV with a broken window and the two dozen cupcakes she left in there were gone and there were bear prints and smeared icing in their place. Either I took a hell of a potent edible and flew to New Jersey, put on a rented bear costume and broke into Christine’s SUV in a haze and stole those cupcakes without remembering it. (This is very possible. Although, Christine Allen bakes vegan cupcakes and I don’t know if I’d go that crazy for some cupcakes not made with butter. But I probably would.)  Or it was a robbin’ bear!

Christine, who planned to deliver the cupcakes to a client the next day, says she knows a bear stole her cupcakes, because at 2 in the morning on Thursday, her dog barked and when her husband looked out the window, he saw the furry thief trespassing on their property.

After the news about the cupcake thief came out,  Mo’Pweeze Bakery  started selling these cupcakes:

Before you start to think that this was all a shameless stunt to promote Mo’Pweeze, Lt. Peter Reilly of the Rockaway Township Police Department says the cops believe that same bear has done some damage around the neighborhood. The police are now more concerned since the bear has broken into a car. Christine, who says she worried about the bear and doesn’t want him to get shot by the cops, got video of him fucking up their fence.

If Christine wants to really figure out why that bear keeps messing with her and her property, she should check her DNA through 23andMe or some shit. I bet a dozen vegan bear cupcakes that she will find out that she’s a descendent of…… Goldilocks, which means that bear is a descendent of the bears Goldilocks thieved from and is getting revenge for his ancestors!

Pics: YouTube, Mo’Pweeze Bakery

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