That makes sense. You automatically lose ten points for dropping part of your peanut butter and banana sandwich on someone’s vagina. Hollywood veteran Rita Moreno seems to have had more famous people on her than St. Barts. She recently spilled all the Lipton to Wendy Williams (via Page Six) about which showbiz icon she preferred in bed – Brando or Elvis. It’s Marlon Brando for the win! Hopefully, this was the pre-Kabuki makeup science overlord of the scary animal experiment island version of Brando. But maybe Rita’s freaky like that.
“[Brando] slayed me good ’cause he was the king of everything. Eeeeeeverything,” Moreno, 86, told Wendy Williams on Thursday. “He was the king of movies … he was really one of the most sexual men on Earth. It was one of those very tempestuous love affairs. It lasted eight years, on and off, on and off, on and off.”
Get some, Rita! Moreno says that she wanted to marry the famously eccentric Brando but he wasn’t feeling nuptial about her. Hoping to change his mind, she kept sleeping with him. And then one day she found someone else’s panties at his place.
“One time when I found some lingerie that was not mine, I just went home devastated, weeping and crying — and something wonderful happened the next day,” she said.
After that, it was Viva Las Penis!
That wonderful thing was being spotted by Presley, who “liked what he saw” and requested a meeting with Moreno. The EGOT winner said she accepted the invitation, with that stranger’s lingerie “still on [her] mind,” and her fling with the singer drove Brando mad.
Rita says that Brando was so crazy jealous about her fling with the King that he “threw chairs.”
Moreno felt that it was “wonderful” that Brando was so wrought over her getting with Elvis, but he really had nothing to worry about. Despite all the pelvic boogying on stage, he didn’t exactly blow her back out in bed.
What wasn’t wonderful? Moreno’s sex life with Presley in comparison to her ardor with Brando. She admitted, “That’s like a 2-year-old and the king.”
Ok, that was an odd way to put it but we feel you, Anita. Rita says that, despite her tempestuous affair with Brando, the love of her life was her husband of 45 years, cardiologist Leonard Gordon. He died in 2010. Luckily, he passed away before Rita was telling everyone that Marlon Brando was “the lust of her life.” Being a heart doctor is lucrative and everything but finding out that the lust of your wife’s life was some jerk that didn’t bother hiding the other chick’s panties would have been painful.