Kirsten Dunst and Jesse Plemons’ Baby Name Has Been Revealed

May 12, 2018 / Posted by:

And in celebrity baby news that’s not about the newest Kardashian money-maker making her Instagram debut…

It was revealed this week that that Kirsten Dunst and Jesse Plemons contributed to our planet’s overpopulation problem with a baby boy who, judging by his parents’ skin tones, is probably in the running for “Palest Human On Earth.” But the most important part about the birth hadn’t been revealed until now – the name! The Blast got a hold of the birth certificate (there is no privacy anywhere ever) and we’d like to welcome Ennis Howard Plemons to this life. And well, that’s quite a name. He sounds like an old-timey failed presidential candidate who ran on the Bull Moose platform in 1912.

Ennis was born on May 3 at 8:16 AM at Providence St. John’s in Santa Monica and there doesn’t appear to be any famous Ennises except for the closeted gay cowboy that Heath Ledger played in the seminal (and I type that literally) film Brokeback Mountain. That movie is painfully good and Heath Ledger was an acting treasure so “Ennis” is understandable if that’s the deal.

The Blast has a pic of Kirsten and Jesse (who got together when both of them starred in the second season of the series version of Fargo) grocery-shopping the day before Ennis arrived, and man, do they look ready for that baby to come. Being an uncle, I’ve witnessed a couple around the due date and they are the most tired, stressed-out, grouchy people you ever want to meet. The pre-mom is basically wishing she had never let the pre-dad enter her, and the pre-dad is wishing he had followed up on that one bicurious encounter he had at the frat house in college because it’s all about misery right before that baby comes. My sister-in-law was feeling so uncomfortable that she actually told my brother that the baby wasn’t his at one point just so he’d feel as bad as her. True story.


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