The geese who are either the baddest bitches alive or the dumbest bitches alive. Or a little of both!
A strange thing happened on a Florida golf course last Sunday. A shifty bitch with beady eyes and skin in dire need of a good moisturizer was chased down by an angry mob, and surprisingly, it wasn’t Donald Trump being chased down by contractors he stiffed. A dude named Ryan Witkowski was playing in the Christie’s Critters golf invitational at PGA National in Palm Beach Gardens when he rode up on a scene straight out of Planet Earth: Florida Golf Courses.
Ryan found a gaggle of geese chasing after and giving it to an alligator. There’s a couple of theories floating around as to why those geese raged at that gator. One theory floating around (my head and only my head) is that the geese tried Lubriderm to moisturize their beaks and they weren’t happy with it so they went after one of Lubriderm’s past spokeswhores to get a refund. Another theory (which is probably the right one and will also fill you with the sads) is that the alligator ate one of their babies and they were trying to get revenge.
That alleged murderer gator may look like it’s casually struttin’ along like, “I’m full and don’t need to eat another goose, but if those bitches keep trying me…” But I’m sure it’s shitting pure fear. It’s seen Liam Neeson movies. It knows that if you mess with a parent, you better run for Jesus. That gator is totally heading to the nearest church.