Night Crumbs

Amber Heard may or may not be boning Vito Schnabel. Vito’s exes are Demi Moore and Heidi Klum, so I guess he took a break from cougar hunting. Also, if a 9″ dick that always stays hard and shoots diamonds exists, it probably exists on Vito’s body – Lainey Gossip 

This reminds me, if Bravo wanted to do just one good thing for once, they’d bring back Ladies of London – Reality Tea 

Selma Blair does look like she maaay have a case of the farts, and I guess “Pull My Thumb” could work the same way that “Pull My Finger” does – Drunken Stepfather

Here I was thinking that Kevin Smith’s bromance with Ben Affleck died after he said shit about Jennifer Garner, but I guess he was waiting by the phone for Ben to call after a heart attack almost took him out – Celebitchy

Andrew Garfield does Miss Vanjie, and not in the way that those of you who search “Andrew Garfield does Miss Vanjie” on PornHub were hoping for – Towleroad

“I want to show these hos that I can still look hot in a bedazzled sack and one of Nancy Reagan’s old turtlenecks.” – Margot Robbie to herself – Popoholic

Nice try, Chris Mazdzer, but you’re going to need to butter me up with two hairy nipples if you want me to vote in that Dancing with the Stars shit show – Kenneth In The (212)

The. Tongue. Is. Back. – Hollywood Tuna 

The year is going to be 2048, and Scary Spice will be lying in her bed at the UK branch of Shady Pines telling her nurse that all five of the Spice Girls have signed on for a reunion – OMG Blog

If you’re the kind of nerd who was getting hot over the Spaceballs sequel, get ready for a possible case of blue balls – SOW

Errr, Penelope Cruz didn’t get the memo that the dress code for the 355 event at Cannes was “Real Housewife at a casual dinner” and not “Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farms at a picnic” – Just Jared

Pic: Wenn.com