Who Is April’s Hot Slut Of The Month? 

May 4, 2018 / Posted by:

Here at Dlisted, April was definitely the wettest month. Panty pudding geysers were released after watching musical stallion Jackson Parodi tickle the ivories of an accordion. Tears of happiness streamed down faces while reading the happy story of Karamel the squirrel who got two front wheels after losing his arms to an animal trap. Blood spewed out of eyes at the sight of bald-headed nightmare monster Hugo. And we all drooled out a river of jealousy over learning that the Mary River Turtle can breathe through its genitals.

Like every damn month, the first three finalists in April’s Hot Slut of the Month contest got the most Facebook likes. The fourth one is a wild card picked by me. Your choices are:

Jackson Parodi, the YouTuber who is responsible for thousands of keyboards getting ruined after they were sprayed with crotch fluids from people orgasming while watching him play the Nokia ringtone on an accordion in nothing but a black Speedo and nerd glasses.

Karamel, the squirrel from Turkey who became the baddest bitch on two wheels when orthopedists hooked him up after he lost his arms in an animal trap.

Hugo: The Man Of A Thousand Faces, the terrifying puppet toy from the 70s who is probably standing behind you right now. Don’t look.

The Mary River Turtle, the endangered turtle from Queensland, Australia, who is the envy of everyone because it can beautifully pull off a green mohawk and can spend the rest of its days giving itself head since it can breathe through its genitals.

The fourth Hot Slut of the Month will be announced next Friday!


Pics: YouTube, YouTube, Dirty Horror, Kat Von D, Chris Van Wyk/Flickr/Zoological Society Of London

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