A pregnant Cardi B almost died. The harrowing near-death experience will likely haunt her for the rest of her days. According to People, Cardi B and her fiance Offset were co-headlining at a festival when the near-miss accident took place. Also, depending on how good your close reading skills are, she gave birth at the venue.
While giving her last performance before giving birth at Washington D.C.’s Broccoli City Festival — which both the pregnant 25-year-old and her fiancé Offset were headlining — Cardi almost took a tumble out of her golf cart when the front wheels of the vehicle suddenly lifted off the ground.
Here’s the footage. TRIGGER WARNING: If you’re squeamish, have a weak heart, are afraid of heights, are pregnant yourself, think The Goonies is overrated, always misplace your keys but never actually lose them, have a gluten allergy or would be willing to travel to the Bay Area to duet with me on All Cried Out by Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam at karaoke; you have been warned!
I sat here and watched this 20 times and it just got funnier and funnier with each viewing, although the repeated cries of “too much weight, too much weight” and “somebody too big, somebody too big” reminded me of the time I helped capsize by uncle’s boat when proper attention was not paid to weight distribution. We all knew better but didn’t heed the age old adage, “Don’t put the two fat cousins on the opposite side of the two skinny cousins. See also: picnic benches”. I feel for that big brother on the back, I really do. But he should have known. They all should have known!
Hello, hello! I’m baaaaack and missed you all very much. Before I scampered off to guzzle all the booze on vacation, everyone was outraged Dr. Who was making more than THE QUEEN…at least the fictionalized version…in The Crown. Now, it appears producers of the Netflix show are ready to do Claire Foy a solid and give her back pay to bring her salary equal to that of co-star Matt Smith. They should also throw in four corgis just to stay on brand. Continue reading
Robert Sylvester Kelly recently posted a message apologizing to his fans after a concert in his hometown of Chicago was canceled. R. Kelly said he was sorry that his stank breath and stinky cheese feet were so putrid, the CDC had to get involved and shut his show down. Haha, I’m kidding. His concert got shut down because the women of the Time’s Up movement have joined with the #muteRkelly campaign and his ass is FINALLY on the verge of getting cancelled.
That could be you handwriting a Dlisted post! (Although, all of us wish we had the poetic writing skills of the reincarnation of Jane Austen that is Katie Price.)
Mieka, one of our writers who produces the important newsworthy food your brain needs, is taking a piece of the summer off from posting here, and the podcast I first talked about sixty-five hundred years ago is coming soon, so we need a little extra help around here. I’m looking for someone who really wants to know what it feels like for your brain cells to shrivel while covering Kanye’s latest tweets. I’m also looking for a writer who is really into pop culture foolery, knows how to put a sentence together (“So what you’re saying is I must have something you don’t?” – you), has daytime weekday availability, and must take a vow to never say a bad word about Our Patron Saint Phoebe Price.
If you’re interested, send your info, including what time zone you’re in, and a writing sample to firstname.lastname@example.org. It is a paying gig, and I promise you’ll never hear me say, “The check is good!“, after your paycheck bounces. I’ll make Allison say it.
RuPaul’s Drag Race contestant Robbie Turner has finally come clean about that mysterious Uber accident she reported on social media. Robbie somehow got Entertainment Weekly to conduct an exclusive interview, the results of which are riddled with inconsistencies and sprinkled liberally with WTFs. Ultimately, Robbie says she was drugged (possibly, maybe) and had “a very vivid dream”. Robbie also took the opportunity to take her critics to task for “calling out” which she says is the new bullying.
In 2008, Annie Leibovitz shot a 15-year-old Miley Cyrus for Vanity Fair’s April issue in a very un-Hannah Montana feature titled Miley Knows Best. It made people feel a lot of things. Like one picture of Miley lounging on her daddy Billy Ray Cyrus that had me thinking, “I better achy-breaky-back away from my computer before I heave up all my lunch.” But the pic that got the most outrage was one of Miley holding nothing but a sheet over her chest. Miley apologized for the pic back then, but she’s un-apologizing now.