Archives: April 2018

Birthday Sluts

April 21, 2018 / Posted by:

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Queen Elizabeth II (92)
Tavi Gevinson (22)
Frank Dillane (27)
Robbie Amell (30)
Gugu Mbatha-Raw (35)
Terrence J (36)
Tony Romo (38)
James MacAvoy (39)
Charlie O’Connell (43)
Steve Backshall (45)
Bridget Everett (46)
Rob Riggle (48)
Nicole Sullivan (48)
Toby Stephens (49)
John Cameron Mitchell (55)
Jerry Only (59)
Robert Smith (59)
Andie MacDowell (60)
James Morrison (64)
Tony Danza (67)
Patti LuPone (69)
Iggy Pop (71)
Charles Grodin (83)
Elaine May (86)

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Afternoon Crumbs

April 20, 2018 / Posted by:

Zayn Malik was papped leaving his ex-girlfriend Gigi Hadid’s apartment in the same clothes he wore the night before. Sure some might call this the “walk of shame,” but for the publicists who probably set this up, it’s the “walk of a job well fucking done!” – Lainey Gossip 

As expected, Chloe from Smallville has been arrested on sex trafficking charges for her role in a sex cult. If my fingers could talk, they would definitely say “What. The. Fuck.” over typing that sentence – Just Jared

No to Ariana Grande Latte’s newest mumble jingle, but yes to the video, which is like a Meatloaf video on Ecstasy – Celebitchy

Speaking of Ariana Grande Latte’s new song, it inspired Artie from Glee to come out out to his Twitter followers. That’s great for him, but I’m going to need him to take a long course in gayness at Gay U because a gay anthem Ariana’s song ain’t – Towleroad

Eva the Diva has begun her Bravo, Please Give Me A Peach, Dammit tour – Reality Tea 

Julianne Hough is still ginger – Drunken Stepfather

Michelle Pfeiffer really should’ve went full Catwoman on the dude who pulled some “as the father of a daughter” shit on her – Pajiba

Here’s Anna Faris modeling the L.A. girl winter uniform of coochie cutters and UGGs – Popoholic

Pic: Backgrid

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Prince Charles Will Be The Next Head Of The Commonwealth

April 20, 2018 / Posted by:

Queen Elizabeth II is 91 years old, and no 91-year-old needs to keep working at that age. They should be gobbling scones and binging on East Enders reruns on their couch. The Queen has decided that it’s time to give up her job as the Head of the Commonwealth, and according to The Telegraph, it’s going to her first son, Prince Charles. As expected.

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Kanye West Is About To Drop Two New Albums

April 20, 2018 / Posted by:

Back in March Kanye West was spotted in Jackson Hole (Wyoming, you pervs) with a bunch of celebrities that led many to believe he was either starting a cult or working on new music. Unfortunately, it’s not a cult. Kanye will be unleashing his Yeezinesss all over us with two new releases slated for June.

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Brad Pitt And Neri Oxman Talk On The Phone Several Times A Day

April 20, 2018 / Posted by:

Though there has been no real confirmation that William Bradley Pitt and Neri Oxman are officially dating, a source swears to Us Weekly the they talk on the phone “several times a day”. If that’s the case, and they’re not boinking, then what the hell are they doing? The only other explanation I can think of is that she tried to explain to him what a Qwark is and Brad keeps calling her back with follow up questions like “Neri, it’s me again. So I was at Whole Foods and they had Qwark next to the yogurt! How does that work? Are cows made out of stars?”. Dear, sweet, William.

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Open Post: Hosted By A Recently Unearthed Highly Important Artifact 

April 20, 2018 / Posted by:

Earlier this year, Meghan Markle took a wrecking ball to her Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter accounts, because it is highly uncouth for a British royal to mingle with the filthy peasants on the internet. But even though Meghan buried all her social media accounts, her posts still exist on the internet in other places, and the Instagram archaeologists at Buzzfeed did important work by sifting through them and finding the most valuable artifact ever found.

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