When Miranda Lambert first started letting out orgasmic yodels as her cooze did the boot scootin’ boogie on Blake Shelton’s taken peen, he was still married to his first wife. They’ve both said in the past that despite him wearing a wedding ring, they couldn’t deny their tingles for each other. Blake and Miranda were together for almost 10 years before they split up in 2015, and some say both of their genitals wandered into the loins of another during their marriage. Blake quickly moved on to the most heave-inducing pairing since Jell-O and mayonnaise, and Miranda moved on to hospital name-sounding singer Anderson East.
Miranda and Anderson broke up earlier this year, and now InTouch and UsWeekly are saying that she’s hooked up with another country singer. This one’s named Evan Felker (yes, I almost typed Felcher, because that’s how my brain works) and he’s the lead singer of the band Turnpike Troubadours. Miranda and Evan getting together is making InTouch sing, “Laaaaaaaambert the shameless home wrecker,” because sources say he was still with his wife when they started doing it, and she was still with Anderson East.
Because you want to know, this is what Evan Felker looks like:
— Fla RedDirt CtryClub (@FlaRedDirtCC) March 25, 2017
The Turnpike Troubadours opened for Miranda’s current tour at the very start of February. They haven’t been her only opening act. On February 16, Evan filed for divorce from his wife of two years Staci. Staci responded 12 days later with her own divorce filing, and she named (get ready to be scandalized) “abandonment” (and now you’re scandalized!) as the reason why their married ended. Evan disputed that in a later filing.
Even though the timing makes it looks like Evan destroyed his marriage by humping on Miranda’s legendary bull dozer vagine, another source says that she doesn’t believe she’s the reason why his marriage is over and that she never put the moves on a “married man.” UsWeekly’s source says that Miranda and Evan spent a lot of time together while touring and that things just “happened” between them. The source says that Miranda was still with Anderson East when she got on Evan. The source also says that Staci is wrecked.
Following news from the road, Nelson is now estranged from her husband. “Staci had no other choice but to file for divorce,” says the insider. “She was devastated.” But a source close to Felker tells Us the timing was slightly different, noting Felker “filed for divorce on February 16.” Nelson filed 12 days later.
Meanwhile, Blake Shelton has been wet farting up a geyser of gloat over this mess:
Been taking the high road for a long time.. I almost gave up. But I can finally see something on the horizon up there!! Wait!! Could it be?! Yep!! It’s karma!!
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) April 25, 2018
Never mind the married man thing, Miranda seems to have a thing for dudes she does shows with, and they have a thing for her. Miranda met Blake at a show in 2005. She met Anderson at a music festival in 2015. And as you know, she met Evan on her tour. If Staci is still upset about her estranged husband being with Miranda, she should take comfort in knowing that Miranda is touring for most of the summer, so there’s a chance Miranda may drop Evan and jump on some fresher opening act peen.