ColiScar isn’t a great celebrity couple name (are any of them, really?), but I’m going with it, because when you look at it real quick, it reads as “CuloScar.”
It’s been a little under a year since Colin Jost of Saturday Night Live became the object of jealousy for a million nerd boners by wet humping on Black Widow. Since then, there’s been riveting sighting after riveting sighting of Colin and Scarlett Johansson sucking face. I guess things are serious enough for them to agree to forever be bonded in movie premiere pics, because ScarJo brought ColiJo (I refuse to call him CoJo since there is only one that matters to me) as her date to the premiere of Nerd Movie: Will Make Infinity Money in L.A. last night.
Either Colin had a tsunami of diarrhea knocking at the door of his asshole and he was trying to hold it in while smiling, or he’s just real proud of himself for doing ScarJo full-time. Because he had the letter S,M,U and G scrawled all over his face last night. But I don’t blame him. I mean, he, Colin Jost, is getting on a movie star whose already overflowing bank accounts are going to get stuffed with even more MONAY after the newest Avengers movie makes approximately one hundred times more money than Woah Vicky and Lil Tay claim to have. I’m actually surprised that Colin Jost didn’t do cartwheels as his peen made the sound that slot machines make when the jackpot is won.
And I wonder how many Avengers it took to block a rage-filled Leslie Jones from crashing the carpet and tackling ScarJo for taking her man? Answer: all of them.