When Tristan Thompson got caught cheating on Khloé Kardashian two weeks ago, the other woman in question was reportedly an Instagram model. That shouldn’t come as a surprise. A source tells UsWeekly that when Tristan wanted to engage in extracurricular hook-ups, he employed the age-old sleazeball method of sliding into DMs. And what kind of girls is he going for? Let’s just say it’s not an accident he ended up with a Kardashian with a stress ball ass.
“Tristan slides into girls’ DMs,” a source tells Us. “He messages girls that way, on Instagram, and then meets up with them. He likes exotic or non-American-looking girls with big butts.”
After Tristan’s dirty dog antics were revealed, one source claimed that Khloé was willing to forgive him because the women were just “stupid groupies.” Except now we know that there’s a chance they weren’t just evil tramps waiting outside the locker room after the game. Tristan was the one doing the courting. How very polite and Canadian of him, approaching those women and asking them if they’d accompany him on a date. I wonder if he also included a rose emoji with his eggplant?
So not only did he get caught cheating, he also allegedly cheated using the Kardashian family’s favorite attention-whoring platform. But does it even matter? According to UsWeekly, Tristan is “incredibly remorseful,” and Khloé might drop her guard and invite him back into her life, because she loves him “unconditionally.” There should be one condition: that Tristan trades in his iPhone for an old Nokia 3310. If Tristan really wants to get laid on the sly, he’s got to put in the work with 20 minutes of annoyingly slow T9 texting first.