Hot Slut Of The Day!

April 22, 2018 / Posted by:

Max, the Lassie of Queensland, Australia!

My dog is almost 16 years old, he’s a little deaf and a little blind, he can’t hold his piss anymore, and he’s grouchier than a grandpa who’s just been told that the IHOP he’s having dinner at doesn’t give senior discounts. But even when he was a youngin’, the only thing he’d consider staying with throughout the night in the woods is a piece of bacon (and even then, he’d keep the bacon safe and warm in his stomach before skedaddling out of there). But not Max!

ABC Brisbane says that Max stayed all night in the woods with a three-year-old girl who went missing. On Friday afternoon, the little girl was reported missing after she wandered away from her grandma’s house outside of Warwick in the Southern Downs area. The family, volunteers and the authorities spent Friday night searching the woods and hills around the property, but they couldn’t find her. They started up the search again on Saturday, and that’s when a family member heard the girl’s cries and saw the family dog Max.

Max came up to them and led them to the little girl. MAX SAVED HER LIFE! Max is 17 years old, can’t hear shit, and only can see half of shit, but stayed with the girl all night in the rain. SES area controller Ian Phipps said that the girl had some cuts, but overall she’s fine THANKS TO SAVIOR MAX!

“The area around the house is quite mountainous and is very inhospitable terrain to go walking in, so she’d travelled quite a distance with her dog that was quite loyal to her. The search was actually quite hard where the volunteers and the police were, amongst the very steep slopes full of lantana and other vegetation. With the weather last night it’s quite lucky she is well because it was cold, it was cold and raining. She’s a very hardy young lass to survive that without any ill effects and everyone, all the volunteers are extremely happy.

Okay, yes the young lass is hardy, or whatever, but what about Max?! This dog calculator tells me that Max is over 90 years old in human years. Max doesn’t want to be shivering his wet asshole off in the rain all night while protecting a little girl who got him into that mess by wandering away memaw’s house. Max wants to be chewing on a Werther’s Original-flavored bone while watching old close-captioned Benji movies with his good eye. But yet he stayed with the little girl. Where’s his medal of honor!?

And of course haters will say this story is fake news, and of course those haters will be cats.

Pic: @abcbrisbane

 

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