Pack up your show and head down to the unemployment line, Tyra Banks, because the real ANTM is Stormy Daniels. Instead, in her case, ANTM stands for Another Naked Tattling Mistress, because not only is she about to show the world her MILF tits and ass once again in Penthouse, she’s also going to expose more details about her alleged 2006 Aqua Net and Cheeto-scented bang-fest with YOUR president Donald Trump.
Stormy is my hero because she proves that even later in life you can make a comeback. Honestly, I’m living for every moment of her milking these last fifteen-minutes of fame by constantly reminding us that Trump is a deplorable cheater. And unlike during her porn career, Stormy has absolutely zero fucks to give. So far she’s sat down with Jimmy Kimmel, Anderson Cooper and the ladies of The View. And now she’s talking to Penthouse.
According to The Daily Beast, Stormy is using her Penthouse interview to reveal all. Primarily she goes into dirtier details about the alleged affair with Trump but also mentions the current pending lawsuit against his attorney Michael Cohen. Stormy also says in her interview with Penthouse that if she does win the case she’s going to donate $130,000 to Planned Parenthood under Trump and Cohen’s names. But aside from all of this hot tea, there will also be tons of T&A for readers who want to “research the article”.
“We are really excited to have Stormy back on the cover of the magazine,” said Kelly Holland, CEO and owner of Penthouse. “She was a Penthouse Pet back in 2007, so we have a history with Stormy, and she has a good relationship with us.”
Daniels’ magazine issue also boasts a “new nude photo spread shot by Keith Munyan,” as well as a “full-length, in-depth interview,” with a reporter for the publication spending “several days with the magazine.”
The only thing I fear most is whether or not they’ll ask her how big Don Cheeto is down there. Because whatever she says he’s just gonna return to his boo Twitter after he reads the interview and tweet ‘BIGLY. YUGE #fakenews‘ for the next few hours.