Do you love the song September by Earth, Wind & Fire but always wished it was just a little bit shittier? Ok, a lot shittier? Well, you’re in luck. Taylor Swift shares you sentiments! She covered it for Spotify’s Singles series, and instead of evoking feelings of joy, nostalgia, love and sexy fun, it evokes feelings of asthma attacks, stale beer honky tonks and suicidal ideation!
I’m sorry to do this to you but you might as well get it over with. Rip that band-aid right off. You can do it. It will hurt but only for three minutes and nine seconds. Ready? One, two, three HIT PLAY!
You did it! How long did you last? Think about the things that make E,W&F’s September so great and then think about the opposite of those things. It’s apparently how Taylor approached this cover. I imagine Taylor going:
Ok, first lets get rid of those annoying percussive horns that drive the dance groove and replace them with, oh I don’t know, bangos. Yeah banjos are good. I’m also going to slow this mother fucker down so nobody can dance to it even though it’s a song about dancing. And those lyrics, I’m gonna shit all over them by doing some confounding, behind the beat phrasing. And I’m gonna whisper them so it sounds like an elephant is sitting on my chest.
Apparently, this song has set off yet another tiny culture war on Twitter with Swifties getting their panties in a bunch and crying REVERSE RACISM at people who are making fun of her for this. Speaking for myself, it’s not that Taylor dared cover E,W&F, but that she did such a piss poor job of it. Besides, plenty of good music loving white people were unhappy with this cover too. Plus, there’s this:
So by Taylor changing the lyrics from “Do you remember the 21st day of September” to the 28th she is literally slipping us their anniversary date. This was Taylor on September 28th 2016. This was the day it all began. AAAAAAAAAAA ????? pic.twitter.com/XO1fPpQQrh
— Rachel (@taylortrivia13) April 12, 2018
Taylor took what she wanted, her fans will love it, her boyfriend will be embarrassed and nobody got hurt (except my ears). I won’t be listening to Taylor’s September again and I doubt it’s going to be played at every wedding, cookout, summer jam, block party and house party for decades to come. But you know what will?
Yeeeah, that’s my jam right there.