Today Heinz is getting everyone pissed over condiments after they decided they’re going to commercialize a ketchup and mayo blend that most Latin Americans have been doing at mealtime for decades. And when Latin America wasn’t spitting at Heinz, the people of Utah were.
The Washington Post says Heinz tweeted this week asking for people to respond to a poll on whether or not they wanted something they’re calling Mayochup:
Want #mayochup in stores? 500,000 votes for “yes” and we’ll release it to you saucy Americans.
— Heinz Ketchup (@HeinzKetchup_US) April 11, 2018
Heinz apparently already pushes this in the Middle East, and I was hoping like hell they wouldn’t get the number of votes needed to start stocking Walmart shelves with this shit, because my kindergarten bully used to mix ketchup and mayo, dip chicken nuggets in it, and lob it at an unsuspecting classmate (aka always me). While they blew past 600,000 supportive votes as of earlier today, not everyone is happy to see Heinz bring Mayochup stateside since that’s not what most people call it in the Latin community where this has been on the condiments stand for years. Some even say it began in the 1920s in Argentina, where it’s called “salsa golf.”
The story goes that a teenage Luis Federico Leloir was eating prawns at a golf club in 1920s Argentina when he mixed ketchup and mayo and got salsa golf. He later won the Nobel Prize (but weirdly, not for blending the two). Either way, Latin Americans aren’t having any of this Heinz BS, as they say they are getting the name right!
If I hear someone say pass the Mayochup, I will be livid. Mayoketchup people. Say it with me, mayoketchup. Mayochup sounds like a Pokémon.
— King David (@thedavidperez__) April 12, 2018
My God, this is stupid. It's called Mayo-ketchup here in Puerto Rico and we've used it since forever.🤦🏼♂️🤦🏼♂️🤦🏼♂️ https://t.co/ZWC0noMcfH
— Reggie Santiago (@reggie_lee1) April 12, 2018
YOU THINK GOYA BOTTLED THIS FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES?
THERE IS A MARKET FOR THIS. WE HAVE BEEN HERE. IT IS DISGUSTING AND WONDERFUL. pic.twitter.com/qVfoLwRKFK
— Gabe Gonzalez (@gaybonez) April 12, 2018
And the people of Utah piped in to say that they call it fry sauce:
It’s not ‘Mayochup’ or ‘Mayoketchup’… it’s Fry Sauce, and I’m 160% sure it was invented in Utah… because it was. Get it right. pic.twitter.com/178hitAgGt
— Will Boston (@wboston96) April 12, 2018
Some burger places call a ketchup and mayo mix “special sauce,” and others know it as Russian fucking dressing. So the executives at Heinz better invest a good stain remover and cover themselves in armor made of napkins, because an international army of salsa golf, salsa rosada, fry sauce, special sauce and Russian dressing defenders are coming for them.