Hot Slut Of The Day!

April 9, 2018 / Posted by:

Dr. Jean, teacher, author, Internet STAH, and a musical genius!

Dr. Jean has been schooling American kids for decades upon decades, but in 2010, she schooled the Internet on how to peel a banana in a mesmerizing video that went viral, became an instant meme, and now has over 20 million views. Dr. Jean’s biggest hit is called Dr. Jean’s Banana Dance, which is mostly known as The Guacamole Song. I was going to say that Chipotle is stupid for not using it as their official jingle, but like they can afford it! The Guacamole Song doesn’t only cover guacamole and everything that goes into making guacamole. It’s a multi-layered deep masterpiece that covers other edible jewels from nature, like bananas, corn, oranges and mangos.

The lyrics in Dr. Jean’s Banana Dance are more complex and insightful than anything that has come out of Taylor Swift’s brain. She starts by singing lyrics that caca obsessor Dr. Oz probably sings while trying to make a perfect banana-shaped shit on the toilet: “Form the banana, form, form, the banana…” And now every time I squirt ketchup on my plate, I won’t be able to do it without making a tomato fart sound like Dr. Jean does.

Dr. Jean’s Banana Dance may have gone double decuple platinum on YouTube, but she’s got other just-as-good hits too. Like “Tooty Ta,” which sounds like a song about the fanciest fart ever, and Dr. Jean performs it to perfection in front of a MAC screensaver. Chroma Key Grandma must be her special effects supervisor.

And she’s also got a song about a wiggling Willie… Since this is a G-rated family post, I won’t tell you that the song’s title sounds like something written next to “what I’m looking for” on a Grindr profile.

Finally, here’s my favorite Dr. Jean jam. It sums up my thought process 24 hours a day:

If the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame knew what was good (which they don’t since Martika and Stacey Q haven’t been inducted yet), they’d make Dr. Jean the only inductee next year. Because what other artist out there can teach you how to peel a banana, and also deliver a stirring ballad about mental health? Nobody has range like Dr. Jean has range.

Pic: YouTube (For VeryOldBat)

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