Jared Leto Would Like To Bum A Ride As He Hitchhikes His Way Across America

April 5, 2018 / Posted by:

Jared Leto is pretty much the most authentic American we have right now, so it makes perfect sense that he’s undertaking the sacred American rite (for white dudes) of hitchhiking across the country in service of his art. James Franco is livid! Jared’s band 30 Seconds to Mars has an album coming out titled America, which is presumably American themed thus prompting Jared’s journey into the heart of darkness. Jared talked about the trip with “America’s host” on On The Air With Ryan Seacrest.

According to The Hollywood Reporter:

“It’s a pretty big adventure,” Leto announced to Seacrest. “I’m going to hitchhike, among other things, across the country from New York City to Los Angeles. I may jump on a donkey in the Grand Canyon or take a hot air balloon. I got the gear. I got the gear.”

By gear he means he generates enough hot air himself to power a hot air balloon. And of course he is his own ass. Why shouldn’t America’s prettiest peacock enjoy the pleasures of the open road? It was good enough for Jack Kerouac. John Waters did it. So did Shia LaBeouf. Of course Jack wasn’t famous yet, John did it incognito and Shia probably did it with a bag over his head. Jared on the other hand is, how do I put this nicely… highly visible. He’s going to need a ride big enough to fit both his ego and this lewk.

Jared’s really invested in this album, so much so that he’s agreed to shave his beard if America reaches number one on the charts.

“I will shave my entire body!” said Leto. “I take that back, I’m not going to cut my hair off, but I’ll shave my beard. It’s been a long time, but I have kind of trimmed the hedges, so to speak. It was very, very long, not too long ago.

Jared drove this home by posting IG pictures of his younger, beardless self in the hopes that the thirst of others, might in turn, quench his own.

Of course it’s not all about fashion, stuntery and record sales. No really, it’s not! It’s also about healing America, one Jared Leto at a time.

As I tour across America, as we’re going to be doing in June and July, you see a lot of unity. You see a lot of things that are very different than what you might expect because of what we hear on the news. You see a lot of people getting along. You see a lot of beauty and inspiration.

So if you see what looks like a hobo wearing “$1,200 Gucci floral-print jogging pants” on the side of the road, won’t you please consider giving him a ride instead of beating him up, stealing his clothes and leaving him naked in a drainage ditch looking like E.T. when the flower died? If not for yourself, do it for America.

Pic: Wenn.com

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