After Orlando Bloom posted a picture of his nipples on Instagram, his on-and-off-and-on-again piece Katy Perry left this comment: “Oh hey! I was actually looking for a washboard to do me laundry on.” Whenever I see the words “Orlando Bloom” and “board” in the same story, my brain immediately takes me back to those beautiful pictures of him paddleboarding peen-out. And now if you’ll excuse me, I have to Photoshop a tiny and naked paddleboarding Orlando Bloom onto his abs in that picture – Just Jared
Something tells me that the teen who broke her retainer from thirsting over Michael B. Jordan is going to have to make another dentist appointment after breaking her replacement retainer from thirsting over him in sweats – Lainey Gossip
Um, Kandi Burruss is cheap. She should’ve gotten Mama Joyce a chauffeured Bentley for being the sole reason for why she’s asked back onto Real Housewives of Atlanta every season – Reality Tea
Brandi Glanville claims that her top lip is paralyzed because of some laser hair removal gone wrong. If by “laser hair removal gone wrong,” she means “too much fucking Botox,” then yeah, that makes sense – Celebitchy
People always say they do the darndest things on TV in foreign countries, but wouldn’t it be a real gas that the joke is on us Americans and Japanese people are all like, “Let’s see what kind of weird shit we can those Yankee Doodles to do for the sake of entertainment.” The Germans got Celine Dion (I get she’s Canadian but close enough!) to gargle “My Heart Will Go On,” and now it’s Katy Perry’s turn to “shine” by showing the Japanese people how many chicken nuggets one pop princess can take. Continue reading
Taylor Swift was no doubt so very excited to release the video for her latest single Delicate, reportedly about her current boyfriend Joe Alwyn. But unfortunately any good attention Taylor intended to get was overshadowed by the bad kind after people started hissing “Copy Cat, Copy Cat!“. So she’s released a second video for Delicate, and this time she was able to keep the blatant plagiarism to a minimum.
Unfortunately for Arnold Schwarzenegger, it appears a heart condition took one look at him back in 1997 and said “I’ll be back.” Ahhhnold went to Cedars-Sinai Thursday for a catheter valve replacement, but things quickly got serious.
TMZ says the catheter procedure is pretty experimental, and he had complications during that ordeal. Doctors were on hand in case something like that happened, and they determined he needed to have emergency open-heart surgery. The whole thing lasted several hours, and Arnold is said to currently be in stable condition. E! News says his family, including Maria Shriver, have not commented. This whole thing is shocking because Arnold in my head is like the Austrian Chuck Norris in that he should be bulletproof. It also shocks me because I’m reminded he and Maria STILL have not divorced yet…do you two just enjoy paying lawyers for shits and giggles??
Anyway, this isn’t even the first time Arnold has had to deal with heart problems (not including the secret love child with the housekeeper). Back in 1997, he went to Mexico for elective surgery to replace an aortic valve. The Terminator claimed it had nothing to do with steroids (cue your “Sure, Jan” face now) and everything to do with bad genes. What made the whole mess kinda fucked is he didn’t tell Maria, who was preggo at the time, it was happening – he just said he was going to Mexico for a little vacation… I guess Sandals that year was including cardiac procedures on the all-inclusive menu? Speedy recovery this time around to Ahnold, but I’m wondering how he lied about it this time around! “Mah-reeee-uh, I ahm going to pahmp iron at ze gym.” OK, I’ll stop.
Donald Trump was in Ohio yesterday talking to the voters there about some of his proposals for infrastructure resuscitation. But infrastructure is very dry and boring. Maybe that’s why, according to Deadline, Trump changed gears towards the end of his speech to talk about the exciting things happening over at ABC with Roseanne instead. AGAIN.
If you can believe it, the fact that Blac Chyna’s 5-year-old is being listed as a defendant in a lawsuit isn’t even the most random, weird part about this story. According to TMZ, Tyga is currently the recipient of a lawsuit recently filed by Simon Cowell’s one-time fiancé Mezhgan Hussainy. Mezhgan, a makeup artist, owns a home in Beverly Hills. She rented the home to Tyga in March 2017. Everyone knows you don’t rent a house to the Prince of Payment Delinquency.
According to the lawsuit, Tyga paid rent – $40,000 a month – until January, at which point he just stopped paying. Mezhgan is suing to have Tyga evicted, and to get the $120,000 in back rent he owes her. As for Tyga’s son King Cairo Stevenson, he’s listed as a defendant because – wait for it – HIS NAME IS ON THE LEASE. That’s right, Tyga rented a $40,000-a-month mansion with a child.
Poor King Cairo is going to be dealing with FICO Scores before he loses his first baby tooth. But while it may seem totally insane for an adult man like Tyga to throw his kid’s name on the lease, I get why he did it: as a financial safety net. Let’s face it, King probably has more coins in his piggy bank than Tyga has in his wallet.