Jennifer Aniston either doesn’t love herself or she only loves herself. Those are the only explanations I can think of that would explain why she would squander the last shred of her integrity as an artist by signing on to do one of Adam Sandler’s nutsack gag ridden Netflix movies. It’s probably easy money sure but damn, girl. Him? Variety reports that Adam and Jennifer are teaming up again to bring us a Netflix movie called Murder Mystery.
According to Variety:
The story follows a New York cop (Sandler) and his wife (Aniston), who become prime suspects in the murder of an elderly billionaire while vacationing in Europe.
Is it possible that this is a delayed, passive aggressive dig at Angelina Jolie’s flop The Tourist? At any rate, I’m already triggered. Adam gets to be a cop and Jen gets to be a wife? Why can’t Jen be the cop? I guess that’s not a programming option in the Sandler Project Script Generator Machine; computer says no. And given the cultural sensitivity of his previous Netflix movies, I’m sure we’ll see a lot of broad strokes used to paint the French (snobby), German (strident) and Italians (a-spicy meat-a ball) they meet along the way.
This is not Jen and Adam’s first time working together either. In 2011, they starred in Just Go With It, which according to Variety, made an assload of money domestically and internationally. In that one, Jennifer pretends to be Adam’s wife so he can cover up a lie he made to trick a beautiful blond woman half his age into having a relationship with him. It doesn’t make a lick of sense on paper, but if you watch the trailer you’ll find out that it’s much worse than you could have possibly imagined.
Murder Mystery is the sixth one of these Sandler squares on Netflix that sometimes start screaming at me when I log in causing me to panic and just click whatever square is closest and that’s how I accidentally started watching Fuller House. But like with Office Christmas Party and Mother’s Day, etc…, she’s probably only doing this movie because she’s happy to do the least amount of work for the biggest paycheck so she can spend the rest of her time topless sunbathing next to a pool filled with Smartwater in Cabo. That’s a decision I can understand.