Did Al Capone teach us nothing? Pay your taxes people! According to TMZ, DMX was just sentenced to 12 months in prison after he pleaded guilty to one count of tax evasion. That light sentence is thanks to a plea deal. TMZ says that “before the deal, he was facing 14 counts and 44 years incarcerated“. Even so, prosecutors were asking for him to serve the maximum of 5 years given that “he failed a drug test while he was out on bond and got sent back to jail”. As bad as that sounds, DMX was actually very contrite about the whole thing.
According to TMZ:
DMX addressed the judge directly Wednesday in the NYC courtroom, and took responsibility for his actions. He said he was too old to be doing the things he’s doing, and admitted he hasn’t been thinking straight.
DMX’s attorney played a music video for the judge in the courtroom to help him understand the struggle DMX has been through in his life. Here’s the video for his autobiographical hit “Slippin’”. If you don’t want to watch it, I’ll summarize what’s depicted. The lyrics mostly match dramatic “re-imagining” of young DMX’s life except for in tone, believably or plot.
Here’s what happened
- He got stuck in a well, scary ghost hands reached for him.
- He was short.
- His mom told him to sit his ass down for interrupting her card game when he waved his report card in her face (look ma, all A’s!).
- His mom was the same mom from the Parents Just Don’t Understand video, curlers and all.
- He crawled out a window with a hobo sack and ran away.
- His favorite sweatshirt had a hole in it.
- He stole a dog because he loves dogs.
- He used to smoke weed and watch TV but stopped to become a rapper because of his son.
It must have worked, because according to The Blast, DMX was happy with his sentencing. His only request was to be sent to the Orange Is The New Black prison (FCI Danbury IRL). It’s a men’s prison now, so if he was expecting to be surrounded by women he could admonish for not minding their business, he’s out of luck. According to The Blast:
We’re told X is focused on Danbury because they have a great program to “help treat his addiction,” and it’s also close to his home.
After DMX gets out (maybe as soon as in 6 months due to time served) he’ll be on “supervised release” for three years. He also must pay $2,292,200 in restitution. Maybe he can get that number reduced by playing the video for Ruff Ryders Anthem to the judge to prove he’s so poor he had to live in an abandoned school bus and couldn’t afford a shirt.