Angelina Jolie’s Post-Brad Life Maybe/Maybe Not Includes A Realtor

When Brangelina announced the split, the world…kind of continued as it did before. You couldn’t stand in a grocery line without seeing Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt angrily scowling on the cover of Star, waging war over stoner parenting (guess who), being a global uppity stick in the mud (guess who!), or Dutch Oven-ing too much in bed (OK, I made that one up). But now, depending on who you ask, it seems like Angelina is moving on.

Entertainment Tonight dropped an exclusive to say Angelina is seeing someone, but it isn’t that serious:

“Brad and Angie are both very secretive about their dating life. Angie has told some friends she isn’t ready to date, but she has been seeing a handsome, older-looking man who is a real estate agent. He isn’t a celebrity or high profile in any way.”

!!! The future Queen of Coldwell Banker! Plus, being attached to a realtor is a prerequisite for any Bravo show, so I really just hope this means we can expect to see Angelina lead the cast of Real Housewives Of The Model U.N. The same source says the split was really hard for Angelina, which I completely understand. My boyfriend is out of town, so I had to watch the dog by myself last week and was completely exhausted. How in hell can someone tend to 89 kids by herself?! Oh, I forgot. She has money.

Well, before we start waiting for Angie to show up on the arm of some broker daddy at the Wichita Real Estate Awards 2018, you might have guessed there’s another side to this story. People says a source told them, “She is absolutely not seeing anyone and will not be.” Damn, source, way to rub her single life in her face! This source claims she’s focused on the kids, and things are still working out shit from their ongoing divorce. If you ask me, I think this is collusion. Considering nothing sells like a Brangelina baby, wedding, or (now) divorce, Brad and Angie are going to milk every last Starbucks gift card out of these tabloid editors so not even Shiloh’s great-great-great-great-great grandson has to worry about how to pay college tuition for HIS child army.

Pic: Wenn.com