Open Post: Hosted By Drew Barrymore Saying That Jake Gyllenhaal Is The Least Talented Actor She’s Worked With
Drew Barrymore has been on a roll lately. First, Drew Barrymore proclaimed her allegiance to Lucifer by whoring herself out in a soul-melting musical ad for his most evil creation CROCS. And now Drew Barrymore is saying that out of Adam Sandler, Hugh Grant and Jake Gyllenhaal, Jake is her least talented co-star and Adam is her most talented. I guess Drew’s show Santa Clarita Diet isn’t totally fake, because it seems like she’s been bitten by a zombie in real life and it’s fucking with her brains.
Drew was on The Late Late Show with James Corden to push the second season of SCD. James made Drew and his other guest John Boyega sit around a table of Survivor challenge-like foods to play a game of Spill Your Guts or Fill Your Guts. Each of them were asked questions, and if they didn’t want to answer, they had to open up their eating holes wide and pile in anything from bird saliva to a water scorpion to a thousand year old egg to turkey nuts. Drew’s first question was whose talk show (out of Colbert, Fallon and Ellen) has been her least favorite to do. Drew decided to find out what it’s like to mouth kiss an extra slobbery Big Bird, because she dodged the question by sucking down a load of bird saliva. The second question she had to answer was, “Rank your co-stars from most to least talented: Adam Sandler (The Wedding Singer, Blended and 50 First Dates), Hugh Grant (Music and Lyrics) and Jake Gyllenhaal (Donnie Darko).” If she didn’t want to answer that question, she had to take a turkey’s nutsack to the throat.
Now, if it was me, I’d gladly swallow that turkey ball, because I’ve had nastier balls in my mouth. But since Drew is a vegetarian, she blurted out this mess:
“Jake Gyllenhaal, so I don’t have to eat a turkey’s ball.”
And when she was told that she had to rank from most to least, she did, and put the reincarnation of Laurence Olivier named Adam Sandler at the top of the list:
“When I run into [Jake] next time, ‘I’ll be like, dude, it was like selling you down the river or eating turkey’s balls. And by the way, I don’t even care if he hates me, I’m not. I literally am doing this because I won’t make it. I’ll poof all over the place. I’ll say: Adam, Hugh, Jake. I’m sorry, Jake, it was the turkey’s testicles.”
If it wasn’t for her saying that she doesn’t care if Jake hates her, I would think that the thought of guzzling down cut-off turkey huevos got her twisted up in the brain and she listed least to most on accident. But then again, maybe Drew is 100% right and wasn’t just sweetening up Adam so she can win another free trip to Hawaii to film the sequel to 50 First Dates. I mean, I’d like to see Jake Gyllenhaal expertly take lessons from a talking bulldog on how to eat a piece of Popeye’s chicken. Not even Juilliard can teach you how to do that shit.
And if your kink is watching Drew swallow Tweety Bird’s mouth juice while dressed like a substitute art teacher, and John Boyega chewing on a bug, it’s your lucky day!