Hot Slut Of The Day!

March 22, 2018 / Posted by:

Mike Litterst!

Mike Litterst is the Public Affairs Specialist (which sounds like the name of a Jessica Simpson scholar who specializes in the history of her album A Public Affair) of the National Park Service so he talks to the media a lot. And to me, there’s no one better to talk to the media than a person with the name Mike Litterst. And I’m sure the reporters and journalists who have to interview and introduce him would agree with me all the way. Case in point:

During a recent-ish broadcast, Amelia Draper, a meteorologist for NBC4 in DC, was reporting on computer models predicting peak bloom, or whatever, and before she tossed to a clip of Mike Litterst talking about those computer models, she said, “Mike Litterst also said that has been quite a doozy for them this year.” I’m probably earning another gold medal in REACHING when I say this, but she looks like she’s thinking to herself, “I just said ‘my clitoris’ on live TV….

My Clitoris Is A Doozy needs to be somebody’s band name.

Sure, Mike Litterst could go by “Michael Litterst,” but then his name wouldn’t make reporters say, “Shit, I have to introduce My Clitoris again. Goddamnit, I wonder if Starbucks is hiring.” And I hate being called Mike (it’s way too butch for me), but if I ever marry a dude with the last name Hawk, you better believe I’m going to take his last name and go by Mike Hawk.

Pic: Facebook (Thanks, Kevin!)

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